Whispers Of False Promises » bangchan [indefinite hiatus]

episode 35: happier

All the while that I felt that things were moving quite fast -- the way these past two years had felt like a fever dream with Chan -- I came across the news, aligning with all of our schedules, our parents had decided the date of wedding: 18 May, two weeks from now. If I had wondered about the speed of the events being too hasty, I had not seen this date coming. 

This date, 18 May -- the date of Eunji's demise. 

I was devastated when I got to know about it. All of Chan's family, and my parents were present in my living room, and as Chan was not here, busy with some variety show that Stray Kids had to appear on, I stepped back. My parents looked rather happy with the date, as if they had forgotten about my sister's death completely. 

I felt short of breath, and I excused myself in a shaky voice, "I-I will be right back." 

I briskly walked out of the room, entering the tiny balcony I had attached to my room. Sitting down on the tiles, I realized that my hands were trembling. I breathed deeply, trying to not freak out over the choice of the date. I could not see myself feeling happy on 18 May, ever. 

I heard the door sliding behind me, and I turned around in a jiffy, seeing my mother walking into the balcony. I wanted to protest, I wanted to yell at her for not telling Chan's family about the significance of this date. After all, they could not possibly know about 18 May, could they? 

"Mom," I began, my voice croaking out of my throat, "What is this? You know what happened on 18 May, don't you? Why would you...?"

Keeping a hand on my shoulder, she sat down next to me, and it seemed as if my parents' touch could trigger tears any time within me; perhaps it was the deprivation of love I had felt from them after Eunji, or maybe the fact that I was seeing them after years. Whatever it was, I felt emotionally wrecked upon her touch. 

"Remember your eighth birthday, Kaira?" mom smiled at me, looking at the city lights before us, "Eunji and your dad had gone to the store to get your birthday cake, and on the way back, she had tripped down the stairs and had gotten her left arm fractured?" 

"How could I forget that?" I said, nostalgia taking over me. 

"Remember what had happened next?" 

Eunji and dad came home an hour late with my birthday cake, and by now, all my friends had gone back home from the party we had thrown. I was sulking in a corner, seeing the abundance of gifts and the lack of the gifters. The doorbell rang, and I hopped off my corner to open the door, expecting to see Eunji and give her an earful for being so immensely late. 

Yet, when I saw her arm held up by a sling, the lines of anger on my forehead dissipated into concern. I gasped, "Eunji! What happened?" 

She looked around, "All your friends are gone? Already? It's just 9 PM!" 

"Yeah... you were late..." I grumbled, "What happened to your hand?" 

"Ah, it's nothing! I just tripped, dontcha worry!" she winked at me, nudging my shoulder. 

"But now... I can't celebrate. You are hurt, Eunji," I frowned deeply. 

She clicked her tongue, "How does that matter? You have to celebrate! It's your day!" 

"But it won't be fun without you..." I sulked, speaking in a kiddish pout. 

"Kaira," she smiled tightly, her lips stretching to the sides, "Who am I to stop you from celebrating? What if I was in a different place on your best day? Would you still stop for me?" 

"Of coooourse!" I dragged out the word in a whine, "You're my sis!" 

"Then celebrate! With or without me! Just remember that even if I am not present, I'll be as happy for you as I would have been with you!" 

"She's happy for you," mom painfully smiled, "Even if she's not here." 

"But why this date?" 

"This date has been etched in our memories as the most dreadful, painful date. Your dad and I suggested this date to put an end to the dread and change it into a happy one. Just like on your eighth birthday, Eunji called all your friends back for the cake-cutting with her injured hand, she would be more than happy to have taken away all your grief." 

I laid my head on her shoulder, and she ruffled my hair, saying, "Sometimes, I think that maybe it's all Eunji's doing; gifting you such an amazing partner and having this date transformed into a happier one." 

Flashes of that dream resurfaced before my eyes. I hummed, eyes tearing up. 

"Maybe it is." 

(a/n: i know, just a filler, but some things needed a closure, yk? i hope it wasn't boring!

THANK YOU FOR 10K!!!! <3 

thanks for reading! i love you!)