Whispers Of False Promises » bangchan [indefinite hiatus]

episode 29: the idea of you

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."

— Jess C. Scott, The Intern

_____

As soon as he greeted me, I gleefully sat down next to him, placing my arms behind me and leaning back, crying out as I cracked my back, "Ah, I'm so tired today!" 

Chan chuckled, "You're just twenty-three, Stara, but it looks like you've aged until sixty." 

"Oh?" I raised my brow in amusement, "Let's call Seungmin and see who the aged one is." 

He sassily rolled his eyes, "Yeah, pull the Seungmin card now." 

I chuckled, a small 'hehe' escaping my mouth, "You know that I still love you, old man." 

Chan gave me a playful side-eye, suppressing himself from smiling at me, but I knew that he wanted to. I laughed, teasingly saying, "Don't hide that pretty smile, now. You know that I love it the most." 

"Just my smile?" he pretended to gasp, "Not me?" 

I sat up straight, facing him, "Gentleman, what is this question?" 

He finally released a chuckle, and then cheekily grinned at me, "A very important question, my love." 

My love -- even though I had heard him say that to me a million times already, the sound of his voice eliciting that name resonated in my head, stroking my heart into a melody so sweet that I was afraid he could hear, too. It gave me peace. 

"The question," I said, "Is invalid. Because the cause of the smile is Bang Christopher Chan." 

"Mhm, no," he turned to face me fully, cupping my cheek in a fond grasp, "The cause of the smile is Lee Kaira." 

I smiled, nuzzling into his warm hand and loving the feel of it. After a long day at work, this was all the energy I needed to recharge myself. 

"That's charming," I spoke, smiling helplessly into his hand, "Look at my smile now? I wonder who the cause of this smile is." 

"Hmm," he pretended to think, "I wonder who." 

"I'll give you a hint: he's the kindest man ever to grace this land, and has a heart of gold." 

"So Ryan Reynolds?" 

"Chan!" I complained, and he burst into a loud peal of laughter, clutching his stomach as he fell back on the grass. His laugh was contagious, because I found myself laughing along, even though I wanted to sigh. 

"You and your male crush," I wanted it to come off as an exhausted sigh, but it certainly did not sound like that. 

"Crush? Excuse me," Chan rose from the ground, his face red due to all the laughing, "I'm friends with him. Friends." 

"Friends to lovers, then?" I laughed at his baffled face, and it was my turn to laugh relentlessly this time. 

"Oh, Stara..." he sighed as I could barely stop laughing, biting down his incoming grin, "You're really one of a kind." 

"Am I?" I wiped off a stray tear due to all the heavy laughter, breathing heavily, "How so, mister?" 

"I only love people who are one of a kind," he playfully boasted, "And you're at the top of the list." 

"So congratulations to me?" I snickered, "Well, yes, actually." 

"Hm?" 

I shifted closer to him, bringing about a slight change in the atmosphere, and laid my head on his shoulder, "You know, it's actually a big thing to be loved this way by you. Don't get me wrong; you're a soul who loves every other soul, but to be so close to you like this... I feel like I've achieved euphoria." 

"Ah," he smiled, and it was almost audible, "I should say the same, actually." 

"Channie, let me let you in on a secret," I inhaled deeply, relishing in his musky scent, "During the time I loved you from afar, I felt like... I should be able to deserve you. To work on myself to be capable of having you love me -- I needed to feel like I should be able to receive your love to reciprocate it fully, and keep you happy and content." 

"Hey, baby," he lifted my head off his shoulder and made me face him, placing a chaste kiss on my lips, "You never needed to change yourself for me; for anyone, if we're at that. I just know that no matter where you would have been, I would have come to love you, even if I didn't know you. I would have loved the idea of you. And we're lucky because we don't have to love the idea of each other; we have each other in person for as long as we want." 

I smiled at him; and at the back of my mind, Eunji's words from that dream rang in my head. My smile began to falter, but I held it up. 

I needed to live in the moment; this very moment of bliss and contentment. Because, as Chan as, I did not need to love only the idea of him anymore. 

I had him, and he had me, and that was engraved in stone. 

(a/n: i could not stop smiling this entire chapter!! idk why, i enjoyed writing this so much!!

we're almost at 9k, guys!! please share this book and get it to 10k!! i want this baby to be known a little more yk? :")

how was this? 

thanks for reading! i love you!)