Et Nos Cedamus Amori

VII.

"Deos fortioribus adesse." -Tacitus

The gods are on the side of the stronger.

"Eddy?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you..."

"I love you too, Toni." Eddy said as he kissed her forehead, holding her close to his chest.

"I'm glad I met you..."

"Me too..."

Brett watched the scene unfold from afar. It feels as though he was invading their privacy even if they were at Brett's house. Still, Brett forced himself to look away and focus on the journal entries he was reading. Of course, Brett was afraid of showing Eddy, so he was discreet about it.

When Eddy asked him about it, Brett just said it was his grandmother's. It wasn't a lie, the only difference is it is his great great grand uncle. He opens up the last page and read it with intent.

October 29, 1893

The moment I wake up with my beloved in my arms, I cannot help but feel lucky. My love is requited and I cannot ask for anything more. I only wish that men like me could have their love like mine. I want them to love as freely as me.

I wish Pyotr the best. I hope he could go to a place where he could love whoever he might desire. I just want him to love as freely as I do. Then again, I do not love freely. I cannot scream to the world how much I love his beloved and only him.

I want to live in this world where all types of love is accepted. I only know that love knows no reason nor bounds. I only love and I hope everyone else can, too. I want to show that homosexuals loving each other is the same as heterosexuals loving.

There is no difference when you are in love and everyone should understand.

I want everyone to know that my love for him is normal and not a sin. I may love the same body as mine but that does not make a difference. I hold him close to heart and my hands. I do not have to own him in order for my love to be his and his alone.

If I could chose to love freely, the first thing I will do is show the world how proud I am of this love of mine. I love him so much and I could not express it well with words. I could only hold him close and hope the he could hear my heartbeat that is for him.

I am complete without him but he makes me feel full. Nothing could ever be better than just being present in his life, being a constant and always staying by his side. He is much more than I could have ever asked for.

I live for him now and I could only hope that I do not have to be torn apart from him.

The mind could lie but the heart will always speak of the truth. I hold him as if I would not let go and he does the same. To my savior and my Lord, I thank you for this love of mine. I thank you until my last breath. 

- - - - -

Brett took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. A surge of emotions rushing through him, a memory unlocked in his mind. He was in a music hall that looked old fashioned. There was a conductor who had his left hand under his chin. It seemed that he was conducting a second movement of a symphony for it sounds too sad.

Brett tried to remember the piece as his current self but nothing comes to mind. He cannot think for himself in this scenario. His past self was gripping his hands as the tears stream down his face. Brett was there but he didn't know why he had no control.