Et Nos Cedamus Amori

XXXIII.

"Non inter se, sed in eandem intueri directionem, verus est amor." Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.

Eddy sat down on his bed, feeling lonely without warmth from a certain person he was longing for. He decided to stand up and grab his keys. He knew exactly why he was sleepless so he decided to act on it.

Fuck it. I don't wanna regret not kissing him anymore. It's been six months.

Eddy took his keys, not even bothering to change out of his pajamas. He immediately drove his car and went to Brett's house. When he arrived, he decided to call Brett since he lives with other family. Brett picked up and followed along Eddy. He went out in just pajamas and saw Eddy with a small smile.

"I'm confused... What are you doing here?" Brett asked, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

"I regret not kissing you six months ago." Eddy said, leaning towards Brett.

"Why? I thought we'd be better off as friends..."

"That's what I thought. It was so unfair because when we decided that boundary, my feelings for you cleared up." Eddy explained, moving Brett's messy hair back. "Everything was so clear and vivid, the visions, my feelings and the longing is the hardest part. It's hard seeing all those visions every night, the loving ones and the ones wherein I was the one who left. It bothered me so much that there are days wherein I don't wanna see you because I might just kiss you and never let you go even if you wanted to go. I didn't want to hurt you." Eddy added.

Brett was still confused, but he held on to Eddy anyway. He didn't know what to say. So, he just stayed there and held Eddy.

"Please speak up and do not leave me hanging..." Eddy said, looking at Brett.

"I- I love you and you know that..." Brett admitted, holding Eddy closer to him. "I love you so much and I have so much that I want to do with you, with us. And yet, I still don't want to believe the possibility of you loving me back."

"But I do, Brett. I really love you and this time around, I know it. I'm too sure of it." Eddy coaxed, looking at Brett.

Brett looked up at Eddy, sharing the same expression of love. Brett looked at him with full of hope and Eddy nodded. Like every single year they have known each other, it comes fast yet it feels too slow. Brett slowly went to his tiptoes and placed a hand on the back of Eddy's neck, leaning up to kiss him. Eddy closed his eyes and leaned down, meeting him.

It was slow and filled with things Brett had wanted to make him feel for years. It was all clear for Eddy now. It wasn't a rash decision, unlike their kiss from 4 years ago in Sydney. This time, it was well thought of for six months. It felt right, something finally felt right.

They pulled away and Brett was scared. He was scared that Eddy might still change his mind after all of that. But Eddy stayed, he was there, holding on as though he will never let go. The nervousness was gone and it was just them naturally moving with each other.

Brett pulled away, looking up at Eddy with a bright smile. Eddy returned the look and nodded. They were in the right place now and the right time so everything will fall into place.

"Could you please come back with me in the apartment?" Eddy asked, eyes closed and his head resting on Brett's shoulder.

"Of course... Let me just leave a note." Brett said, entering his home once again and quickly leaving a note on their table.

Once they were in the car, both of them held hands until they got back at Eddy's apartment. Brett kissed Eddy's cheek as they were about to lay back down on his bed. Both of them aren't really sleepy now, since the adrenaline was still rushing on their veins. Still, they laid down anyway.