Et Nos Cedamus Amori

X.

"Amicitia semper prodest, amor et nocet." -Seneca and Publilius Syrus

Friendship always benefits, love sometimes injures.

"You gave up on the love thing?" Jordon asked, looking from Brett across the cafeteria table.

"Well, not give up yet. I'm trying to." Brett said, looking far off.

"You had a vision or something, didn't you? Past life..." Jordon said, Brett was caught blushing bright red. "I knew it!" Jordon added proudly, pinching Brett's cheek.

Brett was quiet for a while but immediately spoke up after the embarrassment.

"It's a dream, yeah... But my decision is not connected to that dream whatsoever..." Brett replied defensively.

"If it's not connected to that, then what's up? Why give up now?" Jordon asked again, studying Brett's actions.

"I just hate the false hope that I built. I mean, he never lead me on or anything. It was all me..." Brett lamented, looking down on his food. "Also, maybe the dreams and visions would stop... Maybe if I let Eddy go, it wouldn't be as much?" Brett stated, coming out more as a question than a sure statement.

"Well, that's quite tragic... But I do get where you are coming from, bro." 

"At least with being a friend, I could always be there for him. If we're lovers and then broke up, I'm afraid that the years of friendship would just go to waste. I don't want that, really." Brett said, his chest feeling constricted as his mouth was speaking deceiving words.

"I read a quote that was similar to that just recently! It went along the lines of friendship always brings good and love always hurts. Something like that... But whatever you choose to do, I'll be here to listen and support you." Jordon said gently, looking at his friend with such admiration.

Has Brett always been this... This ephemeral?

Jordon thought as he looked at the young man with the sun glistening on his skin. It was so angelic, in a way. His skin looked like it was crafted by all the power of Aphrodite. His hair was turning to a dark brown, like his eyes without any light shining on them. Oh, but his eyes.

His eyes look like the sun was them. Like Jordon's entire life was being mirrored in them. His eyes, his eyes look both like the ocean and the sun. The fires of hell and the lights of heavens. Ah, they were transcendent... They were bodiless... Brett's eyes were simply everything that Jordon ever wanted to look at for the rest of his days.

Yes, Brett Yang was far from perfect. He was most likely not as beautiful as Jordon had just described him... Yes, he wasn't perfect but goddamn, he's the only Brett Yang that exists.

Touch him, Ilyich... Hold Kotik before he lets you go again.

At that Jordon gasped. He felt like he can't breathe. He felt like his chest was on fire, his lungs drowning in water. Is- is this what he looks like now? Is that really you, Brett Yang? Is that still you?

Brett cleared his throat and Jordon felt like he was slapped back to reality.

"You okay, man?" Brett asked, looking at his dazed friend.

"Yeah... Just never felt that before. That was odd." Jordon stated, hands shaking a little.

"What was 'that'?" Brett asked again.

"My soul... My past life. Oh God, I never knew he could whisper to me, even beg me. I only encountered it during dreams!" Jordon said, a bit shaken up, still.