"Varium et mutabile semper Femina." -Virgil
Woman is ever a fickle and changeable thing.
July 31, 2012
I'm not as good as a writer than my past self was but I believe it will suffice for now. I don't have much of an outlet and I've pretty much only told one person about this feeling of mine. I'm in love with him. Though it's hard to say in a public setting,
Jordon understood. Maybe it's with regards to his past life. I hope he gets a better grasp of his life now. I hope his soul wouldn't more as much as it did during it's past life. Whoever Jordon loves, I hope they'll love him back wholly.
I've embraced the fact that I am in love with him. I'm too in love and I hope that if this ends in heartbreak, I will not break completely. I love him, I really do.
There's certain days where my soul is quiet and stagnant. It stays in its place and doesn't stray too far to get close to him. Though, there are days where my soul's longing is at a maximum. I want him nearby and I can't bear the thought of losing him.
I guess I just have to make sure that if I get my heart broken, I'll do it on a day where my soul is stagnant. I do not want my past life to mourn and so should my present life. But God, I love him so.
I love him so much, but I know I'll live on. I'll continue without him, no matter how hard. Because losing a love shouldn't be synonymous with losing life. Because even if it's the hard truth, they go on without you and you should do the same thing.
No matter how much you love a person, giving everything to them isn't enough. Most specially if they don't love you back the same way you do. Persistence wouldn't make them love you. Waiting doesn't make them love you. Spilling what you feel isn't going to make them love you. They're never going to love you unless they really do.
He isn't in love.
He's stuck on the thought of falling in love with this amazing woman. How could I blame him? Even if choose the woman to be with him rather than me.
Even telling them won't make you any more deserving than the rest who loves him too. In the end of the day, there's always going to be better, prettier, smarter and more talented. Though, that doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to be better yourself.
I'm trying to get better, I really am. It seemed that it all fell down the moment I look across the room from me. The years that I have built walls, solidly cemented, have been proven useless every time. He managed to make them tumble with just a simply word. The way he says my name is exactly how I would say I love you to him.
Soft, fleeting, curls around the end and so effortless. Dear God, I love him so. I'm not terrified anymore.
- - - - -
"Hey, Brett! I have good news!" Eddy said, dragging his s to emphasize his excitement.
"Good news?" Brett perked, looking at his friend.
"Me and Toni got back together!" Eddy almost screamed, he was so excited.
"That's good! I'm happy you guys are back together... I bet you both celebrated." Brett said, smiling at the taller boy.
YOU ARE READING
Et Nos Cedamus Amori
Fanfiction"Let us yield to love." Brett Yang knew from the very moment he saw Eddy Chen. He knew that this was the man that he had to be with. It was his soul begging him to love the man and he gave in. He always knew. Eddy Chen was always looking for love in...
