His Hafizah and her Hafiz

Realization

Abu Hurairah POV:

Silent sobs broke out from her lips quaking her body endlessly. She was sitting on the stool right there beside the rain-speckled window, her brown chestnut hair falling down her back as she gazed out ahead inattentively. 

Mom.

"Mom, what's wrong? I haven't seen you for so long." I asked her softly, wanting to touch her or hug her for the last time... or atleast tell her 'I was sorry' and embrace her with a warm 'goodbye'. I had so much to tell her, but seeing her crying was the least I expected. It was shredding my heart to bits and because of her heartbreaking sobs, my own throat was holding back a huge lump of tears from spilling.

 It's been so long I haven't seen her. I wanted to memorize each of her features because I knew we had to part sooner or later because time never waited, it was always on the run. Maybe this was our last meeting and I'll never see her again or... maybe not.

At my sudden question, mom quickly wiped her eyes replacing her emotions with a sorrowful grin, the dried up tears leaving stains on her cheeks. "You know Hurairah... I promised Safoora that you'd be a great husband, remember? I'm really disappointed Hurairah, really disappointed." She whispered, looking out the rain-speckled window again as silent tears rolled down her eyes uncontrollably. "Life isn't done for you, it's done for me. Make people happy only for the pleasure of Allah and work harder dear, the hereafter is... not something so easy to pass."

"I'm sorry... Mom." I tried to reach out and touch her but everytime I did she seemed to grow distant and faroff. "I'm sorry!"

She scowled, "I'm very disappointed. Very disappointed."

"No, please don't say that!" I rasped in horror, her image slowly fading out into darkness and I was abruptly breathed back to life in my living room.

Panting breathlessly, I jolted up to a sitting position clutching my head, my figure sweating and shaking voilently as mom's last words rang in my head repeatedly. My breath grew ragged as I glanced around my cold abode, a home without a speck of life. The eerie silence embraced me heartlessly-- the fridge hummed in my ear tunelessly, the heater droned with the beat of the furnace while somewhere in the house the clock ticked loudly keeping my company.

I'm really disappointed Hurairah, really disappointed.

I planted my face in my hands holding back my choking sobs. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to move on with life, but... I had to. I had to force myself!

Was it all a nightmare?

Unconsciously, I made it to Safoora's room, my only place of warmth and comfort. I cracked the door open and slipped inside her room only to find her bed cold and empty. It was an unintentional check-up. Oftentimes at night, when I felt disheartened I would just crack her door open and stare at her peaceful figure like a creep. Yes, a creep!

My heart instantly broke remembering my insolent behaviour with her yesterday, she left me and she wasn't ever coming back. She was gonna end up with Ali and I just couldn't watch that. If I divorced her... that was it, I couldn't see her ever again just like the times before marriage. My house would be empty-- I'd miss her warmth, her touch, her comfort, her voice, her smiles, her hugs, her kisses. I'd miss every inch of her.

Hawa wasn't even there for me anymore ever since mom's death, not even Huzaifah, not dad, not uncle or aunt. Hawa was sickened with her pregnancy while Huzaifah was too busy looking after her and his building career, they had truly forgotten about me. I had vanished out of their life as soon as they were married, fading away from them little by little as the years flew by. I was probably eternally gone from Hawa's life now, replaced by her loyal husband and soon-to be born twins.