Chasing my mate

Part 25

I'm changed then I'm sat at the couch, even though Emma should be gone she stays, she's never dismissed. Luke too hasn't left, of course he hasn't, I'm always being watched.

"Hey where'd you go last night?" I ask her as she sits next to me.

"I was here."

"Here as in this room?" She nods "Why?"

"I was requested so I came." Her eyes go to the window which is where Luke is located, even though I want to ask more questions I don't. "So what's it like?"

"What's what like?" I'm muddled by her question.

"Being the alpha's favourite." Her tone makes it seem like it's the most obvious thing in the world "For a hunter you really don't know much about werewolves." I'm a little stunned, the alpha's favourite?

"Azriel's-"

"You have quite the balls, to call him by his name, I could never." She shakes her head then turns back to me, her lips are pressed together before she gives me a weak smile.

I don't know why but we fall silent, I take it upon myself to lie down resting my head on her lap. If I try hard enough, this feels like Addison's lap. Emma's so warm.

It's easy for me to drift off. My body is overworked, my heart's damaged and my shoulder hang heavy. Unfortunately though it's easy for me to fall asleep, staying asleep isn't easy. I scream awake.

I hiccup tears back trying to catch my breath, these night terrors are started to exhaust me. I sit up burying myself in my knees, God I've had enough of these nightmares. "Here." I jump at the voice looking up and dropping my knees.

Azriel towers over me reaching out with a bottle half empty "You're twenty one right?" I watch him shake the bottle for a second then he swings it back himself "Suit yourself." He shrugs before moving to slump next to me on the couch.

He lets out a sigh and I find myself looking over at him, the night light gives me just enough to see his lips and eyes, the rest is shadowed. "If we take this, we won't remember what happens."

"What are you trying to forget?" I want to know. He just swings another gulp back.

"Get drunk enough and you'll be able to sleep." He reaches the bottle out for the second time and I know it's unlike me but I take it, I swallow down gulps without thinking and I wait for it to burn before I'm in the clear.

"Ugh," I grimace "you got a chaser?" He takes the bottle instead of answering, he really is trying to forget something. For a while we go back and forth sharing the bottle until I can finally feel it's effects.

My eyes feel heavier and I can no longer hold my head up, I tilt it back resting it on the couch, when he offers me the bottle again I shake my head, I've had enough. He continues. I get it, it might take longer for him.

I stare out into the ceiling listening to him breath and the liquid being forced back and forth by his swings. I can't distinguish which tile is which, they all merge into one white blob. "You are truly stunning." I turn to his voice, his eyes are bloodshot and his hair is messy.

I blink at him and he too leans on the couch and just stares at me. My eyes burn but my heart is slower then usual, even my blinks start to slow down. I take in a shaky breath then feels a cold tear run down the side of my face, am I crying?

I sniff trying to hold myself together but the tears just start to pour out, "I'm sorry," a hand is on my back "I won't call you pretty."

"It's not that." I can't help but laugh in between sniffs before crying harder into my hands. His attempt to comfort me is rubbing my back, first of all I don't even know why I'm crying, so it's bound to be hard to explain.

"Huh-huh-huh," I take in three sharp breaths before sitting back up, get it together, I wipe my face dry. He leans forward and I look up at him, he has such pretty eyes.

"What are you crying about?" His voice is low and I drop my head leaning in, I bump his shoulder but stay there. I take in his scent. It makes sense now, now that I'm in the dark and his voice sounds like that and he smells like this. He's the man I danced for in the shadows.

His hand takes up the back of my head, my eyes shut as I feel him lean back, I go with him. I rest my head on his shoulder but my hands are stiff not knowing what to do.

I danced for him. God I should have know! The worse thing is, I'm not mad. I had a feeling only one tone would make me obey so easily, I'm late to realize it but it makes much more sense now. And I'm not mad about it, if anything I'm glad it was him and not some old man.

His heartbeat is a steady rhythm and I sink to his chest to get a better listen. We're both here for one reason, to forget something yet here I am remembering. I remember the goosebumps I got when my hands were pinned to the wall, I remember his voice, his warmth.

Here I am feeling it once again and I'm not mad about it. Because of the alcohol I want him this close, I don't mind him this close.

I don't feel much drifting off but I know for a fact I don't see Maddison that night, I'm too focused on Azriel's heartbeat to think of anything else. I can't think of where I am or why or how I even got here, his heartbeat, that's all that matters.

I don't scream awake. Not that night. Not after the alcohol. Not after feeling so close to Azriel. He feels safe. I feel safe.