Chasing my mate

Part 42

I'm still in here for more days that pass. All I have is my two visits form Emma when she comes to either feed me or wash me down, other then that I get nothing. Even Azriel doesn't come.

I have the company of Addison who sits next to me now. For the most part she doesn't talk but when she does it's hard not to retaliate.

The door opens and besides me Addison stands. Azriel looks down at me and I watch Addison walk right up to him, "Your sister's getting buried today." He tells me just as she ducks behind him.

His eyes grow dark form the dim lighting be they still shine a pretty blue. He's been worrying about me, I can tell by the way he's looking at me. "I'm fine." I tell him, his silence is enough of an answer for me.

I rest my head on the wall behind me watching him leave with the ghost of my sister. At least she finally gets to find peace.

My wrists feel like they've been ripped out form the limbs and I can't ignore their throbbing now that Addison is gone. She was the only thing keeping me from feeling anything and now that she's gone I need something to fill the void.

I shut my eyes, sleep should do the trick. Maybe I'll see her again, I want to see my sister. I want to go wherever she's gone.

"Maddison?" The voice is low but soft, is Azriel back? So soon? I feel warm hands cup my face and my head is held high, I still can't bring myself to open my eyes. They feel heavy like my shoulders and knees.

"Maddison..." the voice is closer to my ear now, I can feel them breath in my neck making a warm fuzzy wave wash over me. "I never hated you, you were always worth so much to me...you still are." Why is he telling me this?

"You can't stay here any longer, I think two weeks is long enough." I've been here for two weeks?! "I want you closer, I want you to live even if you still hate me." My hands drop and the feeling of release make my body tilt forward.

"I'm taking you back up." My body is lifted and I'm pressed into his chest. I don't know why he wants me back in his room but I'm not even mad when I feel soft cotton beneath me, I just sink in it and let myself go.

I dream. Well it's not really a dream, it's more so memories. Memories of Azriel. He's just cramped in my head, every smile, every laugh, everywhere he touched me, I feel it again. It's like I can't get enough.

I remember how my body shook when he was inside me, how pleasurably painful it was, how he kept going and going. Just remembering it gives me chills. I'll never forget what he did though, how he stopped me from getting to my sister.

Someone is playing in my hair, their hands are small so it can't be Azriel. My hair is pulled behind my ear and their elegant fingers stroke me cheek, definitely Emma.

My eyes flutter open and she's the first person I see, "Hi," she smiles down at me pulling her hand away. I blink at her for a second coming back to reality then help myself up. It's no surprise when I have three other eyes staring at me.

I don't understand why but my body wants to be felt by Azriel's. I take the covers off and push myself off the bed, Emma moves to catch me but I don't fall.

My feet have a perfect landing and I pick my head up to look at the shiny blue eyes that look at me form the doorframe. No one says anything about me moving as I pass both Luke and Carter.

I stop in front of him and press my head on his chest, my arms move on their own and warp around him. I clutch onto him not wanting to let go, "I never hated you," his words he once said play in my mind. "...even if you still hate me." Where the second to last part of his sentence.

He thinks I hate him. Well I do but...it's different now. He's clearly caught off guard, I don't think I've ever hugged him out of my own free will, at least not like this. His arm finally warp around me accepting me.

His cheek rests on top on my head and he tries pulling me closer but we're already at our limit. I sink deeper into his chest and listen to his rapid heartbeat. His other hand takes up the back of my head.

My eyes start to fill with the emotion I've chocked down for so long. I sniff trying to hold them back but nothing works, I stain his shirt with my wet eyes yet he doesn't pull away, he holds me closer.

What I am I missing? Why doesn't he hate me? I'm a monster, I've turned into the one thing I've fear the most, yet here he is trying to keep me safe. He never really wanted me dead did he? He's a wolf and I'm a human.

If he wanted me dead, I would be.

Is this because of the sex? Does he want me around because of that? That would break me a little more and thought makes me shed more tears. I don't even know how long I spend crying.

But he sits us down and lets me empty my eyes out into my hands. Just his mere presence is enough, him rubbing my head is all the comfort I don't think I've ever got.

"Alpha would you like-"

"Not now." He cuts the speaker off, I'm held tighter. He needs to stop this. He needs to hate me, or dislike me at most. He can't let me believe he actually might...care for me. He needs to stop.