Unknowingly Yours

8

"How is it going with your doctor friend? Dating her yet?" Heejin slaps my butt. I don't know why she keeps doing that but I'm not stopping her either so I guess I shouldn't be complaining.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not gonna try to be with her. My best friend likes her and it's the first time she's really liked someone. I have experience in the lesbiz, she doesn't" I say.

"What in the world is a lesbiz?" She questions.

"Lesbian business. Did they not teach you this in lesbian school?"

She laughs, "You might need more help than your best friend."

"You're probably right" I laugh with her.

Work is slow today since one of the machine is down in our line.

"I do think I have a problem though because I thought I was starting to like Jisu but then when Chaeryeong told me she's interested in her, it was okay with me. I didn't have to think about it. I don't know the difference between liking someone to date them or just liking someone as a friend anymore" I say.

"Think about Jisu or your previous relationships, what did you like about them? What made you think, I want to date this person" Heejin ask.

"They were nice. They said nice things to me. They said things I like hearing such as I'll be there for you, I won't leave you, I love you and things like that."

"Thats why in the end, I'm the one hurting the most because to them those were just words when it mattered the most to me. I want to be loved and accepted for who I am but sometimes I'm not sure I know who I am because Chaeryeong mentioned before that I change myself so the person I'm with won't leave me. It doesn't matter if I'm happy or not, I just don't want them to leave me."

"So Jisu didn't say those words yet so it's easy for you to let her go" Heejin comments.

"I guess. And I keep telling myself that I'm gonna be single for a while I literally thought of dating Jisu already when I saw how nice she was. We even kissed like what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing. You just want love."

"Machine is working now" our maintenance informs and we thank him.

"But it seems like if I look for love then it's the fake love. People use love against me to use me" I say.

"Then don't look for love" Heejin says a simple solution but it's not simple for me.

We get back to work and Haechan, our supervisor, comes to visit us.

"Ryujin, you have plans this weekend? Specifically, tonight?" He ask.

"I'm not sure yet. I have to see what my sister and best friend wants to do" I answer.

"Oh, I have two tickets for a movie tonight so I thought maybe you could join me" he shyly ask.

"I don't know if I should even if I have nothing plan. You might think it means something like a date" I say.

"Then come with me as a friend. I won't think it's a date" he smiles.

I look at Heejin and she's shaking her head but I feel bad if I just say no.

"Can Heejin come? I'm sure we can get another ticket" I ask.

Heejin is not glaring at me so I just smile at her.

"Sure" Haechan doesn't look too thrilled about it.

"Then I'll see you tonight" I smile at him.

"Okay" he seems happy now.