Unknowingly Yours

18

I'm on my way to Karina's place. She's working from home today so that worked out well. I wanted to see her today to talk about our relationship. I want to be straightforward with her. I don't want to lead her on.

I park my car and enter her building.

"Ryujin?" I turn around to find my cousin.

"Winter, what are you doing here?" I ask.

"I live here. What are you doing here?"

"I'm visiting someone" I answer.

We both enter the elevator, "What floor?" She ask.

"18" I say.

"Really? That's my floor" she presses the button.

"You live in such a fancy place" I comment.

"Remember, I said I've been staying with a friend."

"Ahh" I say while nodding my head.

The elevator opens and I let her walk out first.

"Well, I'll see you around" she says but it turns out we're heading towards the same direction.

I'm even more shock when we stop in front of the same door.

"Do you know Karina?" I ask.

"Yea. She's my friend that I've been staying with."

"Wow."

She opens the door and let me in.

"Karina! I think you have a visitor!" She shouts while taking off her shoes.

"Ryujin?" She comes running.

She hugs and kisses me on the lips.

"You two a thing?" Winter ask.

"Not quite" Karina chuckles but still clinging on to me.

"Ahh" Winter doesn't look like she likes me for her friend.

"Why did you want to come over? I was so happy when you called."

"I'll leave you two alone. I'll see you around, Ryu" Winter doesn't look at us before leaving.

"Ryu? She knows you?" Karina furrows her brows

"We're actually cousins. It was very surprising to see her in the lobby."

"Oh. Come in then. Let's go to my room" she seems really happy to see me and I feel bad because I'm not as excited as she is.

I take off my shoes too and I let her drag me into her room.

"Why did you want to see me today?" She sits me down on her bed and she sits next to me.

"I wanted to talk to you about us. I'm kind of confused right now. I don't know if I'm ready to be in a relationship right now. I don't know what I want and I don't want to lead you on."

She looks sad, "Is it because of me?"

I shake my head right away, "No! You've been great. I promise, it's not about you. I just don't want to lead you on or make you feel like I'm using you."

"Why would you feel like you would be using me? Is there someone else?"

"No. There isn't" I pause. I'm not sure if I should tell her but at the same time she deserves to know the truth.

"Like I'm not talking to anyone else or taking other people out on dates but recently I've been confused about my feelings for a friend of mine. I don't think it will last but it's not fair to you for me to keep seeing you, romantically because I can't fully give myself to you" I try to explain the best I can.