His scars were heavy and so were the eyes of pity on him. The darkness that had enveloped his life was too scary but he couldn't say it out loud. There was so much that he had but little that he could actually call his, be it things or people.
But...
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Jan 10, 2013 Thursday
Dear diary,
It's been ten days since my life changed forever. I am at a dead end now. I was suppose to say this to someone but I can't bring myself to do it now. Neither am I able to hold everything inside. This is why I turned to you. I hope you'll listen to me silently and keep my secrets safe with you.
It all started on the first day of the year. 'We design' shifted their main branch from America to Korea four months before that day. They had launched a new clothing brand as their first main branch project and I was chosen as their brand ambassador and model.
A new year party was hosted for the launch of their brand and I went there with Hantae. Everything was fine but then he had to leave for an urgent work. I requested him to stay but he left anyway. I was all alone there but I had to stay since I was the ambassador.
Two hours later I started feeling a bit weird. Very warm and bothered. It felt as if someone was pricking my nerves with needles. Not able to understand what was happening I went to a restroom in a corridor nearby. I tried splashing my face with water but nothing changed.
The feeling kept growing so I decided to leave. I exited the restroom but then suddenly someone came from behind and pulled me into another room. I was thrown onto the floor in front of a man who was wearing a mask. There were two more people there but I did not know any one of them.
My body was in so much pain by now and I was beyond terrified. Their lustful gaze on me was so scary that I started crying then and there. 'Please let me go.' This was the only thing I kept repeating but they laughed at me.
Eventually I got to know that I was drugged. Someone had spiked my drinks and that the only way to get rid of this drug was to either go to a hospital or to have sex with someone.
That man gave me two options. First was to stay in that room and die from my nervous system going into an overdrive. Second was to let him have me. He simply wished to taint me.
I begged. I cried. I pleaded them to let me go but they were hell bent upon ruining me. I tried so hard to leave from that place but nothing worked. The pain in my body kept increasing and then finally after a fleeting thought I gave up.
I gave myself up to him. I let him do whatever he wanted with my body. I gave him a free pass to have me in every way that devil wanted. I finally committed a sin.
But I only wanted to live. I really wanted to live.
-Bomin.
________________
Feb 2, 2013 Saturday
Dear diary,
I gave everything another thought. For the last twenty days I was trying to figure myself out. Hantae and Taehyung are unaware about this storm inside me.
