His scars were heavy and so were the eyes of pity on him. The darkness that had enveloped his life was too scary but he couldn't say it out loud. There was so much that he had but little that he could actually call his, be it things or people.
But...
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Jungkook gently tucked the quilt under Taehyung's arms. "Get well quickly, my love. I'm right here beside you." He whispered, placing a kiss on the boy's forehead softly. Then with a sigh he sat back on the chair waiting for his husband to open his eyes as he had been doing for the past twenty four hours.
The grave injury and the massive bloodloss had taken quite a good toll on the blonde's body, making it so weak that he couldn't gain consciousness at all. The doctor in charge had made it clear that it would probably take Taehyung a few days to wake up completely and be conscious about his surroundings.
"I really miss your voice and eyes so much baby." The ravenette smiled through the tears in his eyes. With utmost care he took hold of Taehyung's hand and laid down his head beside it. "Please wake up as soon as possible. I'm going crazy here without your silly nicknames and random wishes."
"He will. He's strong and he will wake up soon."
Startled by the sudden sound, the raven head sat up. His eyes moved to the door and landed on the figure standing there. "I hope I am allowed to meet him. Please don't say no Jungkook."
"However much I may hate your guts, I can't really stop you from meeting him. You're his father so there is no restriction on you. Although let me make it clear that I don't fancy your presence at all." Jungkook without hesitation put forward his opinion. Not caring about the old man's feelings in the least.
"I know." Hantae said. His legs carrying him towards his injured son. "I hate myself too. More than you can ever imagine. I don't think I deserve to be called a father but I can't help myself from worrying."
"Then why did you not worry about him all these years? Does your fatherly instincts only erupt when he's injured or in extreme pain? For you to show him some love, does he really need to fight with death? Is that how it is?"
Hantae sucked a sharp breath in. Those questions were a bullet to his heart. There was nothing wrong in the hate he was receiving. He found himself worthy of even worse than these few profanities.
"No. I never stopped worrying about him. He's my son Jungkook. He's a part of me and I will forever find myself guilty for abandoning him the way I did. I am his and Bomin's biggest criminal. I know why you said all those words to me that day and I am thankful to you for showing me how much of a fool I was."
"Then why did you act that way Mr. Kim?" Jungkook urged the elder. "If you loved them so much then why? What even made you so heartless in the first place?"
"I was always heartless Jungkook." Hantae smiled at the boy, albeit sadly. "Ever since I was a kid I never knew what emotions were. My alcoholic father used to beat me up to relieve his stressful day while my mother did not care about me. I was so lost that I did not even know that those emotions I used to feel had a name. Sadness. Heartbreak. Despair. I didn't know anything.
In my dull and dreary life Jun-ho was the only source of warmth for me. The few hours that I used to spend with him were the only bright ones in my entire childhood but then he moved away and I was left all alone. After that day I never smiled while growing up. So yes, I was always heartless. There was no love inside me."
