Knowing The Clown (HisokaXReader)

♥ 42 ~

My feet echo around the forest. I can hear my heart pound inside my chest. There's a ringing in my ears as Adrenaline rush through me. I can't even feel my legs. I felt like floating as the trees I run past by looks like a blur. I feel my head pounding.

The only thing in my mind is to run away from that man...
From the man who I love and who I thought love me back.

Suddenly, I trip. Making me roll around the forest ground. Hitting rocks and twigs. Bruises will sure form in my arms and legs.

F*ck this shit. This is a bad idea.. Running after a man.. Fck it all! We're both psychopath but I didn't think that he'll be this obsessed about killing someone.

Chrollo sure gave me hell even after death. Spiders are sure troublesome. I should have had avoided this people. I should have had averted my eyes the first time Hisoka and I met!

I should have turn away!!
I should have left!!
I shouldn't have tried to look for him!!
I shouldn't have had kissed him!!
I shouldn't even have this feelings in my chest!!
Such a f*cking disappointed!!
I should have had not tried to get to know the clown!

A sob escape my lips. Hah! I didn't even know that I could shed tears.

My chest feels so tight. I couldn't even properly breath. I feel so weak!
This isn't me! He changed me! I thought that... I thought that I was the one who's changing him! I didn't realize that it was the other way around!

Hisoka~ oh my sweet sweet Hisoka...
Someday, you'll die by my hands.

I nod to myself. Someday he will.. I'll make sure of it. For that to happen, I need to survive right now.

Slowly, I put my hands in the ground. Pushing myself up. But as I did so, a pair of feet came into view.

A single tear left my eye. I didn't bother looking up as I smile bitterly to myself. I look so pitiful..

**Third Person Point of View

Hisoka look at the distance sunset. You could see a small smirk at the magician's face. Hiding a bitter feeling inside his malicious eyes. No one had a clue. Nobody could see the new emotion inside the clown's eyes. No one can see his pain..

She's gone. And now he don't even know if he should feel pleasured or.....heartbroken.
A foreign feeling he never thought he could master.

He found Touji with Killua. Told the child about what happened with his mother. The only thing he could say to the crying child was.. "she's gone. And its my fault"

Touji cried. Punching his so called father. Asking why? Why was she gone? How was it his fault? What happened? Even though she's crazy, Touji and her bonded. They had become a mother and son. A mother he never had.

Hisoka, now all alone, broke his own walls. Although there was a smirk in his lips, his eyes tell an emotion completely different. His eyes cloudy and red.

This isn't him at all. That woman changed him. And now all he could do is regret.

He will aways regret it all.

He should have never turn away the first time their eyes lock...
He shouldn't have left...
He should have had look for her..
He shouldn't have had run away...
He should have had deepen the kiss...
He shouldn't have had let her go.....
Now there's a tight feeling inside his chest that he almost want to reach inside and rip it out...

Such a disappointment. 

Now he can never find her. A magician will now perform his tricks alone... Forever.

How he miss being called a clown. He never even had the time to properly introduce himself to her. He could only whisper in the wind, hoping it will reach her..

....

Dark corridor came into the man's view. His long, silky hair sway as he walks silently. His dark orbs already use to the place.

Behind the man's blank face was an emotion he's triying to suppress. He could only wish the she is happy now.  Away from the man who killed her every being.

His steps echoed around the empty place. Dim torches is the only source of light. No window nor doors leading to the outside can be seen.

This place is huge after all.

Chrollo, sadly, is alive. Illumi had to kill thean himself. If she ever find out that she failed killing the man, she would be devastated. Thank the heaven's that she is now far away. Never to be seen by anyone again..

He didn't expect the outcome of everything. He didn't expect the pain it will cost. The stoic assasin is now confused and regretful.

He shouldn't have had turn away from her..
He shouldn't have left her with him..
He should have had tried to look for her..
He should have had never left her side..
He should have been her first kiss..
If only he doesn't have a duty to his family..
If only he had broken the rules long ago..
She would never had slip away...

Now only bits of her is left. No more craxy smile... No more annoying woman calling him and ask for a job. No more partner in assassinating. No one to watch him just cause it's interesting. No more psycho to kidnap a child and torture them before letting them go..

The other kid was lucky.. He's lucky Y/N found Hisoka.. A man she wanted to start a family with. It's saddening.... Because the unlucky one was the one who found someone to love.

Illumi shook his head, get the thoughts out of his mind. Focus.... He needs to focus.. For her.

He stop, turning to face a familiar door before softly knocking. Hearing a faint 'come in from the inside.

Without waiting for more, he opened the door.

"Do you need anything?" He asked. His usual blank face displayed on his face. Ready for anything.

"Yes..." the voice said, pausing for a bit before continuing. "Do you, by any chance.... Know where the father of my child is?" the voice softly asked. Innocence lace the voice as if it never hurt anyone before.

Illumi clenched his fist before taking a deep breath.. Relaxing himself.

"I told you, I am the father of that child" His monotone voice said.

But the said voice only giggled, hugging the baby in her arms protectively. A smile grace her lips. "No... I remember his name" she happily said. "His name is Hisoka... The Clown"

~ ♥ ~

AHHHHHHH!!!
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS STORY. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!!!

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KNOWING THE clown has now come to an end. But don't you worry, just say you want a second book and I'll continue it ♥

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