Lucifer's Love

Chapter 20

J A M E S  T A Y L O R

I scrub the floor hastily, trying to stop the anxiety from taking over my mind. My knees ache, but I refuse to stop. I didn't mean to kill him.

You're a murderer. You deserve to be dead, not him.

I didn't mean to. I sob softly, the floor blurring slightly in my vision. Now is not the time for this. Tonight is Thanksgiving.

He can't enjoy Thanksgiving anymore, because you killed him.

I didn't mean too. It was an accident. My hands shake, I know the floor is clean, I've cleaned this area twice, but nothing is helping me get out of my head. My knees ache, but I continue on.

You're such a disgrace. I bring my hands to my mouth, using it to muffle my sobs. I get up and rush off to Mercury, he'll know what to do.

I keep my head down, as I run through the halls. I bump into Lucifer and the sob I was so desperately trying to hold in, comes out when his arms wraps around me. "I didn't mean too." I sob, holding onto him tighter.

"Woah, James, what is wrong?" His deep voice, just causes me to cry harder.

"I didn't mean too." I repeat, unable to continue on. I feel arms pulling me out of his embrace but I tighten my hold on Lucifer and he does the same.

"James, it's me baby." Mercury's voice cuts through the fog in my head and I blink the tears out of my eyes and look up at him. I jump into his arms, Mercury will help me.

"Is he going to be alright?" Lucifer asks, and I feel Mercury nod. I burrow further into him, clutching his shirt tightly in my hands.

"Excuse us." Mercury's voice continues to calm me down. "What triggered you, my love?"

"I don't know. I was cleaning." I tell him and he pulls my chin up to look at him. He places a soft kiss on my lips and I kiss back.

"You're a good boy, James. Don't forget that." Mercury tells me, his voice a notch above a whisper.

"Thank you, sir." I murmur, looking at him in awe. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kisses me once more, and I let my eyes close. "Go on and tell Lucifer that you're okay, sweetheart.". He pats my bum lightly and I nod. I really love all my boys.

Since I was the first boy in this house, Mercury has taken care of me. I love him with my whole heart. He's everything to me, just like all the other boys. I hope that Lucifer will allow me to love him as well. I knock onto his door. "Come in." I take a deep breath.

"Hello, I want to apologize for throwing my emotions at you." I keep my eyes on the floor, embarrassed that he saw me like that.

"It's okay, James." His voice is soft and I peek at him, seeing his eyes is already locked on mine. "Come here." I take careful step towards him and stop right between his legs. His hands rests onto the middle of my back. I take in a shaky breath as I feel his hands touch my spine. "You will be okay?"

"Yes, I will." I tell him, my voice calm. Mercury took care of me. He always take care of me, and I wish I can take care of him the way he needs to but I can't. "Uh, Lucifer, Sir, can I say something?"

"Yes, go on." He says and I nod, holding onto the little courage I have. This is for Mercury.

"Well, M-Mercury isn't well. He needs help. So does Ethan and Mitel, but Mercury keeps his thoughts and feelings locked up. He needs someone to take care of him, like he takes care of me, a-and I can't give it to him. I know you don't really like hanging out with us much, but he, he needs help and I can't give it to him." I finish, fighting my tears. "I'm sorry for unloading this unto you, but Mercury needs someone who can truly take care of him."

"I understand, James. I'm going to talk to him. I'll also talk to Ethan and Mitel as well." Lucifer says and I nod.

"Thank you." I murmur, hope blossoming in my chest.