Ouran High School is a well-known school in Japan, a school for the rich, the powerful and the intelligent. Though one fateful day Ouran's principal and administration agree to open up a new program-a baking program-with this new fact gives an insta...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Today was the start of another peaceful day, that was likely going to end chaotically. The start of the day was simple enough, other than with a run-in with a stay cat which he ignored even after the endless complaints about wanting a few pets on the back and tuna to eat. Saiki walked right past the cat and towards the before-school Host Club assemblage.
As Saiki stood with the Host Club in awkward police get-up, Saiki welcomed the first person to enter. "Welcome." the club said, as they looked at the first guest of the day, who was a little blonde girl, with blue eyes, who looked no over five or six years old.
"Oh my, what an unusually young guest." Suoh welcomed, as Saiki walked out of his position of standing with the club, and looked at Suoh like the other blond was some sort of creep.
"Why are you welcoming her? She's a child, and likely lost." Saiki scolded, as this could be considered taking advantage of a minor, as Suoh was of age to do... whatever, but the girl who was lost was still very very young.
"Well, then I'm glad she's here. My little lost kitty-cat." he ignored Saiki's request to be lest 'pervy' and extended his hand to the little girl who just stood there.
'Why are the police waiting for me?' the little girl questioned.
Why aren't they waiting for me?
The girl stood in awe and blinked a few times towards the Host. Saiki, knowing full well she should be at a daycare, and not at a High School Host Club, took it to himself to help the little girl out (since it was clear that no one else would).
"Why little kitty-cat, have you come to see us--,"
"Shut up." Saiki was quick to demand as he told Suoh to put a sock in it and squatted down to the little girl's level. "Shouldn't you be at school?" Saiki asked her, as she only blinked twice, "How did you get here?" maybe she could direct her way back to her limo and go back home then and figure out she was lost the entire time.
The girl, however, had completely ignored Saiki and his 'good deed' of having her not get kidnapped, or flirted, by the Host Club. As she stared at Suoh and pointed a finger at him, "It's a reverse harem and boy love!" she said loudly and with a blush, likely not of anticipation or embarrassment, likely out of the bliss of a real-life boy love and harem in front of her eyes.
What?
The club froze in shock, Saiki did too, as the little girl continued to chant: "Reverse Harem! Reverse Harem!"
Suoh hit himself a few times on the head (Saiki wished he could hit him on the head too for flirting with a little girl) "That's can't be right." he awkwardly laughed with a blush, "I must have heard wrong, maybe there's still some water in my ear from when I went swimming." he hit the side of his head a few more times.
Hikaru laughed awkwardly as well, as he rang his fingers through his ears, "Water in the ear! That's gotta be it!" he laughed with a blanched look on his face of either shock or confusion. "I thought I heard her say reverse harem!" Hikaru said and his brother laughed right after him, just as awkwardly.
"I'm sure we just heard her wrong." the other twin said, ringing his fingers through his ears, "I can't believe someone as young as her would say something like boy love!" he awkwardly laughed while looking as Saiki, who was frozen in his squat next to her, Kaoru looked away and continued to laugh awkwardly.
"There's debauchery in here!" the little girl added on smartly as she lifted up a finger, Saiki froze again at the girl's words. Hoping to find some way to get her to shut up.
"You're lost kid, go back home." he began to push her towards the exit.
"So I am right!" The little girl tried to slow her exit, "There's debauchery! Debauchery! Debauchery! Debauchery!" she continued to chant, as she slid under Saiki's legs and ran up back towards the remaining host club members. She pointed to Ootori, "You're the glasses character!" and then pointed to Haninozuka and Mori, "You're the boy Lolita and the stoic type!"
The club was beyond confused, "Twincest!" she said almost happily, as the twins have begun to fear her, she spun towards the Haruhi and pointed to her, "The bookworm!" she finally spun on her heels towards Saiki who stood closer to the exit then she did, "And you're the 'questioning other people's sexualities'!" she said almost happily.
'Or maybe the crossover... Nope! Questioning Other People's Sexualities works better.'
Saiki wanted to die then and there, as did the rest of the club.
The little terrifying girl just stood there for an extra second longer and turned to Suoh who was quick to move away, and her eyes widen in realization. "Big brother?" she asked.
Saiki stepped back from shock. Did I hear her right?
The little girl didn't waste a beat, as she lunged at him with open arms. "My big brother is blond, you must be him!"
My big brother's also blond, that doesn't mean anything.
Saiki was quick to scurry up to the host club and pluck the little girl out of Suoh's grasp, holding the little girl tightly to his chest, as he does with Yuuta.
'He kinda looks like a parent when he does that,' they noticed Saiki carrying the girl.
"That's disgusting," he shot at Suoh who stuttered back with an arrow through his chest, "Flirting with a little girl, who's also your sister?" he flipped open his phone to call the police, and already began to dial the first one.
"No, no, no!" Suoh cried, "This is a big misunderstanding!" he waved his arms around hysterically. Saiki set down his phone and gave him a look of annoyance, as he carried the girl in his arms, who was trying to escape Saiki to go back to the pervy-brother who said he wasn't this girl's brother.
"I don't have a sister! Really, I'm definitely an only child," he told Saiki who turned off his phone after Suoh's thoughts matched his words (Saiki still didn't let go of the child though) "Well... I'm an only child as far as I know off..."
That's awkward.
Saiki walked over to Ootori and Haruhi where they were having their own conversation, while this little girl was still trying to leave.
"I want to know if 'glasses character' is superior to 'questioning other people's sexualities'," he asked the important question, "Or 'Big brother'," he added on just as Saiki gave him a nasty look of disapproval.
'Kusuo also seems to have a parental switch in his mind.' Ootori thought as he looked to Suoh and the remaining members of the club, 'I wonder if he wants kids of his own.'
That's none of your concern.
"Does it matter?" Haruhi said blandly, "I can't believe she called me a bookworm, and Saiki... that." she seemed a tad bit devastated, to say the least at her boring name.
You're not allowed to complain, Saiki complained as the little blonde began to play with his hair.
"You seem to come straight out of a The Disasterous Life of Kusuke Saiki!"
