I slump my shoulders exhausted after I have completely dressed Faizu. He had dirtied his onesie while playing with the mud in the garden after lunch. He is now back to his normal hyperactive self. We saw him growing some healthy fat after I started breastfeeding him and I couldn't be more thankful to God about it. Also, I have changed his pediatrician now. Gut feeling you know.
My phone beeps with a text message. I click on it to see a text from mama.
'I was digging the storeroom when I came across your childhood pictures. That's you and your shohar.😘😍'
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Haaaayee. My heart just skipped a beat. Why have I never seen this picture before? Oh my God, we look so cute together. Nazar na lage.
Aly was so cute back then. Main to kha jati ise. Abhi Faziu bhi bada hoke aise hi dikhega.
I might have been staring at the picture for a half an hour or something when my ringtone blares.
Aly calling.
"Bol chonchle" I begin.
He gasps, "Ye pandra saal baad wo purana sadiyal nickname kyun yaad aya tujhe, chipkali?"
I shrug my shoulders, "Awain hi. Tu bata, kya haal chaal. Office mein man nahin lag raha kya? Tune to kaha tha ek badi hi khoobsurat banker hai jo tere saath kaam karti hai. To uske rehte ham gareeb ko kaise yaad kiya?"
"Khoobsurat nahin behad Khoobsurat, agar tu unhe dekhegi na to tu apna gender change karlegi. Unki wajah se to office mein man lagta hai. Waise ye sab chhod, maine Isliye call kiyatha ke jo wo mera ek mahine purana mall lejane wala promise tha, use aaj pura karte hain. To tu aur Faizu ready rehna, mere ghar aate hi niklenge."
"Besharam. Zari sharam nahin aati tujhe coworker ke saath flirt karte. Tu khud ek bacche ka baap hai."
"Chill maar. Aur tu fuzool baat pe kyun focus kar rahi hai? Mall jane wali baat suni bhi ya nai?"
"Sunli ab tu meri baat sun. Main aur mera beta shareef ghar se hain, ham lafangon ke saath associate nahin karte." I huff and end the phone call.
Khoobsurat nahin behad Khoobsurat hain, I mimic his disgusting tone. Izzat to dekho kitni derahe hain bhaisahab madam ko. Pata nai kaun chudail hai jispe ye itna mar raha hai. Mil jaye mujhe wo kisi din, uske baal nochlene hai maine. Dusron ke mardon par dore daalti hai. Aur is khabees chonchle ko batati hun, khoobsurati kya hoti hai. Bahut ud raha hai.
"Faizu, aap ko pata hai aapke papa duniya ke sab se bade flirt hain? Aap bilkul mat banna apne khabees papa ke jaise. Jab ham college jaya karte the na, unhe saari ladkiyan achchi lagti thi, aur sab par line maarte the. Ek ada ladkiyon ke saath to Maine khud setup karwaya tha. Kya karein, aapki mama hai hi itni achchi. Mujhe bada maza aata tha jab koi bhi ladki unhe serious nai leti thi kyunki sab ko pata tha inke awarepan ka.
College to college, ab to work place par bhi kisi chudail ko khoobsurat bol rahe hain, like Koi standard hi nai hai apke papa ki choice ka. Khair, hamein kya. Ham to mall jayenge, maze karenge. Haina? " I tickle his sides and he bursts out laughing. My baby.
In the next half and hour, my baby and me are fully ready for the visit to the mall. Bas ab wo chonchla us dayen ke saath flirt large karte late na hojaye. Jaan nikal lungi main uski. But surprisingly, he comes home on time.
"Assalamu alaykum!" He mutters walking in with his bag. He looks tired. He kisses his son's forehead while removing his tie. I take his bag and the tie placing them in their respective places.
"Walaykum assalam. Tum tired lag rahe ho. Rehne do, kisi aur din chalte hain." He slumps on the couch shaking his head. I bend over him to remove his wallets and handcuffs when he tucks my hair behind my ear. Ah, the bangs! They are annoying. I smile as he places a quick kiss on my forehead getting up to go to the washroom.
"Aly, main aur Faizu bura nahin the maanenge. Rehne dete hain."
He stops at the washroom door, "Main theek hun Jass, kaam zyada tha to jaldi jaldi khatam kiya taaki hamein zyada time mile mall mein aur tu keh rahi jaate hi nai. Bas dus minute de, nikalte hain."
I nod and true to his words he is out in ten minutes and we reach the mall inanother fifteen minute later.
Whoa, this new mall is huge. We quickly walk towards the playing section. There is a slide and a series of connected objects to form a continuous route. This looks fun. In a corner, a small space is just filled with balloons! Small kids are having gala time.
Aly enquired about the fees and time. Apparently, Faizu can play there for half and hour with one coupon and the sad part is, the parents are not allowed to go in there. Because logically, the playthings are too small to fit an adult. The whole arrangement is also surrounded by a fence.
"Faizu ko to aadha ghanta lagega. Tab tak ham wo scary house mein jaakar aate hain. Chal." Aly drags me towards the counter which says 'Scary House'
He takes two tickets and we enter. Why is it so damn dark. I clutch Aly's hand as we walk forward. The next thing I know, I trip. There was step ahead of me. Shit. Aly somehow balances me and I move more into him, then we simultaneously take cautious steps on the ladder.
"Hey" I hear a loud growl near my ears. "Alllyyy" I scream scratching his hand as I duck into his body. Allah, kahan phas gayi main. Ek baar nikal jaun bas, is Aman ka Amena nai kiya na to main bhi Amyra nahin.
"Main hun idhar Jass. Chilla mat, warna wo zyada darayenge", He whispers rubbing his hands on my back. It soothes me.
We hear creaking noises as we walk forward and suddenly what looks like a fireball falls on me and I jump. Did Aly get burnt. I quickly turn around scanning his face for any injury.
"Mujhe kuch nahin hua Jass. Wo bas ek ball tha jisme firelight thi."
"Aly ke bachche, tu bas bahar nikal. Tera bharta nai banaya to phir puchiyo." I screech still holding him tightly. He hugs me from behind completely as we walk ahead.
After a few more tortorous minutes we are completely out. I sigh in relief wiping the sweat from me forehead.
Aly starts laughing like a maniac looking at my disheveled state. I hit his arm for putting me through this torture.
"Kutte, kamine. Tujhe to chodungi nai." I continue hitting him when he captures my flailing hands pulling me into him so I don't damage his muscles. I rest my head on his shoulder as we watch Faizu playing enthusiastically with a baby girl in pink frock.
"Mujhe aise kyun lag raha hai ki tumhara beta bhi tumhari tarah pervert niklega. Bandi ka haath hi nahin chod raha hai. And he is not even one yet." I say worried.
"Oye. Main pervert nahin hun. Bas hamein Khoobsurat cheezon ki tareef karne ki adat hai. Aur mera beta meri tarah hi banega. Khush mijaaz." He says proudly as if he the CEO of Google. I shake my head, it's impossible to change him.
Once the time is over we collect Faizu who was at the brink of crying when he saw that girl being taken away by her parents. He kept staring at her until she went out of sight. I could only look at Aman who was about fall on the ground laughing.
'Kaise perverts se pala padgaya hai. Par kuch bhi kaho, hain to mere hi perverts'
