Chapter 33: a blank world

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DOVE'S POV

My accident that happened about two weeks ago really took a toll on me. Everytime I try to remember  something from the past it just makes me feel so helpless. I feel so useless right now.

I woke up with me not even knowing what my name was. I was scared of everything and everyone. The first person who came through to me was my dad. He didn't give up.

He's the one who is mostly here.

My brother Axel is really busy and is always all over the place. Mom says that's how he's always been. When he comes here we make short and steady  conversations.

What shocked me the most was the fact that I have a boyfriend. Better yet , they say we got engaged about a month ago and we were going to make it official  2 weeks after he proposed but that's when I got into an accident.

I don't even remember getting into an accident. Dad told me that I was okay the whole morning. But then again , when I was driving to work my car was suddenly hit by a truck which caused it to tumble over.

My fiancé  has been really patient with me. He comes here every morning before he goes to work and also every evening when he's herding back home.

With his tight schedule  I should be grateful that he's even making time for me. I just really thankful that even after I had that accident and lost all my memories he still loves me. He tells me this everyday.

"Hey baby" said a voice. I turned to the source and I saw my fiancé  standing by the door holding a bouquet of white roses.

"Hey" I replied to him. He smiled and walked over to me a kissed my cheek. "How are you feeling today? Any memory back yet?" He asked. I just looked at him and shook my head "none" I replied to him.

"That's okay my love , don't stress yourself" he said before he pulled me into  a hug. "I really  missed you today?"  He said and I just smiled. He says that everyday he comes to see me.

Pulling away from the hug I looked closely at him he had brown  hair which he liked to keep neatly  trimmed. He also had  green eyes that really stood out. His skin was fair and he's height probably 6,1.

"What?" He asked when he noticed me staring at him. I averted my gaze but he made me look at him again. "You do know that I'm all yours right?" He said to me and I stared at him blankly.

"Right , Dove?" He said again. He was pushing me into saying an answer I didn't feel comfortable  giving to him. I know I lost my memory but if he was or is the love of  my life shouldn't i feel some sort of connection to him.

Shouldn't I feel safe and secure with him. Maybe this is how one who suffers from  memory loss behaves. Maybe everything around them takes getting used to.

"Dove?" He called out to me pulling out of the web of thoughts  I'd gotten myself stuck in. "Yes , right" I replied to him and he just smiled.

"I know you need  your time to get used to me.  You might  feel strange or uncomfortable  with me  and that's okay , I'm willing to wait for you. I don't care whether you've lost your memories  or not just  know that this" he took my hand and placed it on his chest so that I could feel his heart beat.

"This beats only for you Dove. It really does." He said before he places his free hand on cheek. "I love you Dove." He said to me.

My mind was telling me to tell him that I love him too but my heart was giving me a big red sign. It didn't agree with my mind. But logically  your brain and heart don't really agree , do they?

Suddenly I felt a kiss being planted on my forehead. "I'm running late. I need to take care of the preparations of our engagement ceremony. I'll see you home tomorrow  okay?" I just nodded and he  smiled before walking out.

I just stared at the door after he walked out.

Why don't I feel connected to you. Why do I feel all so distant  to you. My heart makes me feel like you're a stranger. My brain is trying to talk  some sense into me.

It's saying because I lost my memory everything seems abnormal  but it'll  take time getting used to. My heart is telling me that Davis isn't mine. He isn't my love. But who do I listen to in this situation now.

Since I'm getting discharged tomorrow ill find out more about myself. Lost in my own world my phone began ringing . I picked up my phone and saw that it was Axel , my brother calling. He didn't give me the best vibes but hey , I lost my memory. How should I know who to trust.

D: Hello

A: hey baby sis , just called to check in on you. Im sorry I couldn't come and see you these past few days things at work have been really hectic.

D: that's really okay don't worry about it.

A: Why shouldn't I? You're my baby sister. I should worry about it. You should know that I have sworn to protect you since the day you were born.

Wait , I've heard that before.  Where have I heard that?  Those words,  feel very familiar.

A : Dove , sweetheart . Are you still there ?

D: yeah , yes I'm here.

A: okay my sweet sis. But now I really need to go. Davis just reached home to discuss more on the engagement ceremony. I'll see you tomorrow  at 10 when I pick you up okay?

D: yeah , alright. I'll see you tomorrow.

A: goodnight Dove.

After ending the call those words came back to me again "You should know that I have sworn to protect you since the day you were born."

This is not my first time hearing about this. Where have I heard this before.  I could not dwell much on the matter as mom came into the room with my medicines.

"Hie Amelia" said my mom as she put the tray with medicines in the coffee table before she took a sit on the couch.

"Come seat with me" she said patting the space next to her. "So , how was your day?" She asked me.

"It felt so blank mom. Everytime I try to remember  something  my mind just goes blank. I feel so hopeless. I feel like I'm living in a blank world." I told her.

"Don't worry about it too much darling. Just know that anything can trigger your memory. So maybe when we get home   something probably in your room or in the house can trigger your memory and it can all fall into place."  She told me and it all made sense.

"Mom , you said anything can trigger my memory right ?" I asked her and she nodded looking a bit confused.

"I remembered something today" I told her and she looked shocked , maybe petrified then confused. "W-what do you mean darling. I don't understand" she said.

"Well I slightly recalled some words when I was talking to Axel." I told her.

"He said that "You should know that I have sworn to protect you since the day you were born." I told her.

"Oh , so d-did you recall where you've heard that from. When it was or what was happening?" She asked me. "I  don't know any of that but the words seemed familiar  that's all" I told her.

"It's okay sweetie. Here , have your medicines and take some rest" she said and I just nodded.

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