Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in.
When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light cre...
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"Val!" I've been digging through my closet reorganizing for the past hour. I need to move all of my summer clothes to the drawers and set up all my winter clothes, it's starting to get cold out and i don't think a closet full of crop tops is going to keep me warm in zero degree weather, id look hot though. No harm no foul or whatever they say.
"What do you need now?" Her tone is condescending, I've asked her about every single article of clothing in my closet thus far, and she's clearly growing tired of it by the look on her face. I don't feel bad though, in a few days i'll be the one telling her yes or no for two hours straight and she knows it. I've never seen someone with so many items of clothing stuffed into a small closet, but Val figured out a way.
"Should I keep my skirts out? I just need tights underneath." I have a huge Pinterest board full of winter outfit ideas. Usually the second I add a new inspo photo, I head straight to Amazon or Zara and go absolutely crazy, just for it to rot away in my dresser or get handed over to Val. Okay, maybe i'm part of the reason she has too much shit.
"V let's be serious, I love you but you hardly dress up, let alone when it's snowing outside, but I'll take them off your hands!" She's right like always, but i'm keeping a few out for safe measures. One day I'll decide to go all out just to walk to my classes and freeze my way back to the dorms.
I simply cannot stop moving. If i stop and let my brain think for a second longer it might explode. I don't want to think about Adonis anymore, maybe I'll lure him to the rooftop and push his ass off. So, deep cleaning and reorganizing was a perfect distraction for my current state of distraught, I need a serious reality check. Maybe him being an asshole was the reality check I needed, and I'm just ignoring it.
Id love to be a soft sweet girl, it's all i've ever wanted to be, but let's be real, no matter how hard I try to be nice to him and genuinely anyone else around me, it just doesn't pan out. I've never functioned like that, I was conditioned to figure shit out on my own, to handle myself.
"Stop your damn crying Vivian, nothing will ever be fixed by crying." I look up at my dad with teary eyes, all i've ever wanted was comfort.
"I just want friends" I whisper to myself, sinking down onto the floor. "You'll learn soon enough that your kindness is going to get you nowhere, if you don't toughen up now, you never will." With that, he left me alone.
'The world is cruel' I tell myself. My dad says this every-time I cry, the world is cruel and no one will help me but myself. I don't know how to be selfish, I want people to like me, to love me unlike my parents.
"One day" I talk to myself out loud. One day I'll show them I'm capable, i'm capable of receiving love, the love they don't think I deserve. - Stupid thoughts. Stupid fucking thoughts. "V? Yknow you're strangling a pair of jeans and not a person right?" I look down, my knuckles white, my fingers wrapped around a pair of ugly ass jeans, how that got into my closet in the first place is a mystery.
