Journal Entry 46 07/12/1998

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Father died today. He was droving to work when a car crossed the intersection and took him out. Mother said it wasn't an accident and that people did it on purpose but I think mother was just really sad. She took me on top of fathers work building for some air and kept telling me to come speak to father. She said he was in the clouds above us. She kept reaching up or looking up or talking to him like he was. I am afraid of heights I didn't want to go near the edge. Maybe I should I thought but then mother climbed on the railing. She was yelling at me for being a coward when she turned and sighed.
"I can almost reach him." She yelled and jumped. I didn't get up or move from the spot I was at. I knew she wouldn't live through the fall so I waited for the ambulances. When sirens broke the horrible silence I got up and looked over the edge. There was a tiny spot on the side walk where mother laid, the spot growing with the puddling blood. People looked up at me and I turned sinking against the railing. One tears slid down my cheek when the ambulances came up and got me.

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