infamous

29 - the shift

dots were connected by the people who hadn't eaten anything all day. octavia, bec, jackson, finn and raven spent the whole day trying to keep literally everyone else in the entire camp alive.

anyone who had some moonshine got hit extra hard by the psychedelic flower buds, hallucinations going to extremes, sending me into hysterics over and over again.

ive never used drugs, ever, because they were such a rare thing, and only monty and jasper had ever seen some. nobody else had even touched any. im familiar with alcohol, especially pure alcohol, but these 2mixed together had me in tears, pumped full of adrenaline and spiralling into laughter.

bec left a few times to help the herding of the rest of them, but it's pretty easy once you make sure nobody can get out of the gates, you just try and not let them hurt themselves.

i laid down in my tent, visited the top of the mountains, saw the horrors of phoenix's death, talked to my mother, slaughtered guards, fell into the endless caves of grounders and was hung from a tree like jasper.

everyone has chilled out, except the people that ate the plants really late.

i sit around the fire with a huge group, all talking among themselves, next to monty, and we chat about bellamy and the grounder.

the grounder, who escaped. miller was watching him in the ship, and tripped out on the food, so one thing led to another and he's gone.

bellamy is gonna kill me, but he'll bury miller.

"so how did bellamy even take charge? did you guys vote or what?" jasper asks, as i smile.

"you wanna make those decisions? whether to kill the grounder, who watches the gate, shit like that?" i ask him.

"you're better suited, you're the physical alpha" monty jokes, and they've already tried this. they're trying to persuade me to take over the camp.

"there's no leader. clarke and bellamy have relationships with everyone. people listen to them because they want to, not cause they're the self sworn leaders" i reply, as X walks over to the fire, limping.

"yeah i get that, but bellamy forced his leadership, clarke earned hers" someone else says to me, as i watch the darkskinned boy sit alone, watching the flames.

"bellamy can make those decisions that clarke cant, they make a good team" i reply to the girl.

"you're forgetting finn and yourself mackinnon, you've got yourself a little council" jasper says, as i wrap my arm around his head, jokingly.

"fuck you" i whisper, as he squirms and chuckles.

"mackinnon" raven says from the dropship, waving me in, that angry look already present on her face.

it's good she's down here, dont get me wrong, but for a mechanical engineer, a career line where the people are usually awkward and submissive, she sure is a bitch. 

i stand up, and i see X stand too, looking at me, then quickly away.

i know he wants to say something, and i'd be an idiot not to hear him out. he fucked up, he got scared. but he fought those grounders with me that first week, and we make a great team. i do miss the guy as a friend too.

as i walk to the dropship, he follows me.

i stop at the parachute door of the ship, and turn around, facing the guy with tattoos all over his neck and face.

"im sorry mackinnon" he says to me, breaking the ice.

"why'd you leave man?" i ask, exhausted at the thoughts. i cant even put an explanation together in my head as to why he turned back.