↳ ffvii (final fantasy seven) one shots || vol. 1

depressed and anxious || headcanon - cloud

anonymous asked: Hey, Olivia from Instagram here! Could I maybe get some Cloud x reader who is diagnosed and deals with depression/anxiety daily? Please please please dont feel any pressure to write this as I know mental health can be a touchy subject! If youd rather do something different, I could also go with some cloud x epileptic reader because I'm just a fun little bag of disabilities lmao. Love you and your work, sweetheart!

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it's rough to deal with these things on a day-to-day basis. it's like a constant weight resting on your chest and in the pit of your stomach, suffocating you and dragging you day every day. sometimes you'll have a great day where you feel happy and carefree, but more often than not there are bad days, where your heart is heavy and the traitorous thoughts run rampant in your mind. the anxiety accelerates your heart rate and quickens your breathing, the depression makes you teary and low.

cloud doesn't really know how to handle these kinds of things. he knows what it feels like to feel this way, but he's always pushed those feelings aside until they're no longer there. he can tell quite easily when you're feeling anxious, because you become quiet and withdrawn, eyes frantically darting around the room in search for a threat whilst your body stays frozen still. it's less obvious when you're feeling lower than usual, it can be disguised quite easily, but sometimes he can just tell, you lose that spark in your eyes and your smiles seem less enthusiastic.

he'll try his best to learn ways to help you out during these moments. he'll ask people for tips and tricks to cheer you up and to soothe your nerves. he isn't the best at comforting people, but he'll damn well try his best for you. when he notices you're feeling quite anxious he'll take you aside and reassure you gently, promise you that he won't let anything happen to you and that you can rely on him. he'll willingly leave any situation that makes you uncomfortable, press gentle kisses to the side of your head and whisper his promises to make sure you have a great rest of your day.

when he notices that you're feeling lower than usual, he'll make sure you cancel the rest of your plans for the day. he'll get you your favourite food, find your favourite things to do and wrap you up in blankets and his embrace. he'll make sure that the day is entirely about you, and he doesn't want you to feel upset at all. he's not the best at making people laugh or smile, but he'll damn well try his hardest, and will crack dry jokes here and there in the attempt to see you smile prettily. his arms will wind around you tightly and he'll rest his chin on your shoulder as you watch your favourite movie or tv show. occasionally during the night he'll press gentle kisses to your cheek and neck, and he'll only stop when you finally smile.

cloud knows it's incredibly hard for you to keep up this persona, and he doesn't want you to feel like you have to keep that up for him for one moment. if you're anxious, then he wants you to tell him, and if you're sad, he wants you to tell him. he'll talk things through with you, rationalise events you've been overthinking and tell you to forget the memories that cause you pain. he hates seeing you so down and anxious, and will give absolutely anything to make sure you're happy and enthusiastic. and of course, there'll be no short of kissing and cuddling to help cheer you up.