sanctuary // george joji miller

twenty eight

George has been distant. For 2 weeks now.

I do respect his personal space and privacy so I'm not bothering him much about it, I send good morning texts and some stuff that I randomly see and share it through his socials, but even on his socials he seemed to disassociate.

Ever since that day he went to the studio alone, he came back pretty happy and even chatted with me and Ezra all night, but also that night we didn't sleep together as we usually do, he invites me every time and I only go when he tells me to, but that night, he didn't. For the next few days, he stopped.

I thought maybe it's because he's drained, like his social battery or just literally his whole life energy, I do feel like that too, sometimes, and it's normal and totally okay to take breaks sometimes.

He goes out to eat and even sometimes eat with me but he doesn't speak as much, and he sounds very cold and tired. It has me overthinking if I did something wrong, but I'm just waiting for him to open up to me, I don't want to ask him what's wrong, I'm being so cautious with every action I make.

I turned to youtube to watch some random videos to make me forget about what I'm thinking for a while, anime is good too. Recently, I watched Jujutsu Kaisen in one sitting, and the whole duration of me watching that anime, George only came out twice, to eat, and didn't even personally talk to me.

He would respond to my messages but just bland and short straight-to-the-point replies, I miss him so much, but I also do not want to pressure him unto relying his thoughts to me.

I'm just trying to understand his actions right now, maybe there's a reason for it.

"Good morning." His voice boomed in the kitchen that startled me a bit but I automatically threw a smile his way.

"Good morning love, I cooked bacons for today."

He just nodded blatantly, and sat across me on the table. He reached for the rice cooker and he got some on his plate along with the viands presented for this morning's meal.

"By the way, since my university is kind of far, I thought of renting a dorm," I told him, opening up a conversation for us to talk about. He has his eyes glued to his phone as he ate.

"That's good, you don't have a car yet don't and the four hour commute would be very hassle everyday." He commented and I nodded in agreement.

"Would that be fine with you?"

"I won't always be around too since I'll be at the studio to record," that's all he replied to my question.

Is he mad?

"Oh, when are you recording the music video for slow dancing in the dark?"

"Next week." He replied shortly.

"Okay." I mumbled and gobbled on my bacon.

I feel so anxious and uncomfortable, but I don't know what to do with what's happening right now.

I don't even know what's wrong.

I glanced at George and he still has his eyes glued to his phone as he scrolled and scrolled on a fast pace, as if he isn't even reading or comprehending what's on the screen.

I took a big gulp.

I really want to ask him now.

This is driving me insane.

"George-"

"Freya-"

We spoke simultaneously. We locked eyes then abruptly looked away.

"You first." He said, still looking at the other direction.

"I- uhm," I rambled. "I was wondering, what's up? Are you okay? Are we okay?"

It took him a few seconds to reply.

"I'm fine," he responded. "like, maybe just stressed, I think."

"Oh." I almost whispered. "A-are you mad at me?"

"Not at all."

"Alright."

Deafening silence wrapped us after my last reply. We can only hear the drops of water from our leaky faucet. The silence was giving me anguish inside, it's not the usual tranquillity that I'm fine with.

There's really something and I'm overthinking it so hard but I know I'm not wrong.

I'm never wrong when I get bad feelings like this.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, my voice shaky, I feel like I'm going to cry.

"No, Freya. Everything's fine-"

"It's not, George." I cut him off, with my voice raised. George flinched at me screaming because he's never seen me like this. "I'i'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout-"

"Let's break up."

I felt my heart drop. My world shattering, my sanity leaving my body. It felt like my world stopped at his words, but he said it like it's so easy to him.

I pulled all of what I have left with me to look him in the eyes. He deadly stared back at me, but there's a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Please say that you're joking." I muttered, but loud enough for him to comprehend.

"Freya, let's break up." He said, a little slower this time. "I'm sorry."

I felt a lump building in my throat and my eyes started to water, tears building up.

"What did I do, George?" I asked, my voice shaking, trying not to fully breakdown in front of him.

"I'm sorry." That's all he said to me.

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:O anyways