sanctuary // george joji miller

thirty one

I lit up a cigarette as I sat on the porch of the Millers' house. Ezra Miller's house to be precise.

I'ma fuck up my life
I'ma fuck up my life
We gon' party all night
She don't care if I die
Yeah, right, yeah, right

Yeah, I bet you won't cry
Yeah, I bet you won't try
But you know I don't mind
But you know I don't mind

Damn, smoking to Joji's songs really is a vibe. Twitter ain't wrong.

I sighed as I think of him, probably having the time of his life at the party. I don't want to ruin anyone's mood so I'll just stay away.

With the moon as my companion, I sat in stillness as I puff up smoke in the cold and listen to the muffled-sounding song of my ex boyfriend.

Ironic, if you ask me.

Yeah, you bet I know that she ain't
Never give a single fuck about me
Yeah, you bet she know that we ain't
Never gonna be together, I see
Yeah, you bet I go to see you when
I'm feelin' like a drum without a beat
Yeah, you dance so good
And I think that's kinda neat

Just pretty fucking ironic.

"Why aren't you at the party?" A voice boomed from behind me and to my turn I saw a girl.

"Just wanted to smoke," I replied shortly to the stranger. She welcomingly joined me on the porch, sitting the same way as I do.

"Well, you can also smoke there, it's an open place anyway, if that's your worried about." She commented.

"Nah, the vibes be hitting hard here," I laughed dryly. "I'm Freya, by the way."

"I know." She chuckled. "Ezra told me a lot about you."

"Wait, are you Aries?"

"Yeah!" She grinned upon hearing my guess. "Nice to finally meet you!" She said cheerfully and gave me a fist bump, which I returned, mirroring her actions.

"Same to you!" I replied, returning the same energy she's giving me. "Wow, you're actually really pretty."

"Oh my god, thank you." She said, shyly. "So, seriously, what are you doing out here?"

"I'd still reply the same thing I said earlier, cause that's literally it." I laughed.

"Heard you guys broke up..." She trailed off. "I'm so sorry for that."

"You knew that much?" I asked surprised. "Ezra can't really shut his mouth sometimes."

She just laughed at my comment.

"He's a really nice guy," she told me with a smile. "You're very lucky to have a friend like him in your life."

"Really am thankful," I agreed, nodding my head.

"Freya!" Lili called running to us. "Sorry we're late, there was this immense traffic-"

"It's okay girls," I smiled. "Really happy you guys were able to make it!"

"Are they giving free drinks?" Belle asked the first thing after chasing after her breathe from probably running their way here from the bus station. We all laughed.

"I'll come back there and look for Ezra," Aries said, waving to us as she walk away. "Nice to meet you, Freya!"

"Ezra's girlfriend?" Belle asked.

"Not yet, but probably soon." I laughed, "She's really pretty though, like what the fuck."

"Agreed." Lili commented.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Lili asked nonchalantly, Belle nudged her then realized what she just said. "Oh, I'm sorry-"

"It's alright and yeah, he's here too." I replied, standing up and brushing my cigarette to the concrete to put it off. "Let's go inside?"

They followed me as we walked inside the house, going to the backyard where the party is happening. We were welcomed by the loud music upon entering.

Some of the people were already hanging out on the pool, playing casual volleyball on the water.

"Hey! You must be Lili and Belle!" Ezra approached us when he saw us enter.

"Happy birthday!" My friends said in unison. "Thanks for inviting us to the party, we missed parties like this!" Lili added.

"My pleasure!" He said cheerfully. "Please, make yourselves comfortable and the drinks are over there," he said, pointing to the mobile bar.

I followed my friends as they went straight to the mobile bar Ezra taught them and I sighed. They must've really missed alcohol, I heard they haven't had some in a while.

"Free drinks? Damn, best party ever and we haven't even been here for ten minutes." Lili commented and we all laughed.

My eyes wandered to look behind my friends and saw him talking to some girls, and he was smiling. My heart broke at the sight.

It just makes me think of everything from the start until to that day, how could he be fine?

What was I to him?

I can go and ask never ending questions but no one can really answer 99% of it but him.

And I can't even ask him, I don't have the courage to, nor have the place to do so.

It sucks.

It really sucks.

"Gimme that," I told Lili as I chugged that one whole glass.

"Damn..." Belle reacted. "You should be thankful we have high tolerances in alcohol."

"Don't underestimate me, I can handle myself."

Lili laughed. "Okay, Frey, I'll believe you."

"Drink how much you want, we got you for tonight."

I just nodded to her response and grabbed myself another glass.

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wrote as much as i can bc my phone charger broke smh, but hey an update!!!

this specific night in the story is going to take lotta chapters lmfaosksmdkdk