Chapter 16- Daisy
"Making a roast dinner, mind popping out again? Waitrose, maybe? xx " A text from Hailey, as I was crying in my normal seat on my normal sofa.
This is bad, this whole fucked up thing- my life- is bad! I'm sitting here getting fat once again due to being upset. I can't let that happen again. I've already gotten through a whole full sized Ben and Jerry's tub and 2 series of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. It's bad, worse than before. I fucking hate everyone, I fucking hate my life and I fucking hate Harry fucking Styles.
Oh, so one day he comes to the nursery I happen to work at with one of One Direction's biggest fans? Then he thinks this is all fine for me now? He's only in some messed up hospital ward, while I'm here getting fatter by the minute. Not fair, not fair at all. 'Hate him, I fucking hate that dumbass Styles.
"Hey Kourt, how about this jacket?" The noise projected out of my TV.
"NO KIM. FUCK OFF. EVERYONE JUST GET A FUCKING LIFE AND FUCK OFF." I sobbed, harshly throwing the TV remote at the flat screen. Not even caring about how I'm speaking, how I throw an object at an expensive item or anything that's going on.
Right now I wanna go get in my mini, drive to somewhere like France where I don't know anyone and stay there and forget everything. Everything that's in my mind, everything that's going on around me, everything that everyone is saying about me for no damn bloody reason.
This is so messed up I actually can not believe it, I don't think it's real anymore.
I'm scared as well. This sort of thing can mess up people's lifes even more. What if I get hooked on some drug or I start to smoke or I cut myself every night? Hey? What about that, what if that does happen? Then I'm even more screwed then I am. That probably will happen as well.
Can't they see they're gradually erasing the real me? The me that's supposed to be alive and well, the one who's in university trying to make use out myself? That's slowly dying, I can feel it inside of me- in my soul. I need help, I really really do.
Oh fuck this shit. I'm going to Waitrose for my friend. Then the world can see how good of a person I am, why I don't deserve any of this.
"HEY! CRAZY BITCH! MIND DRIVING ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD?"
"GO FUCK YOURSELF MOTHERFUDGER!" I may swear, I may be aggressive but I shall never use the proper term for a Crazy Mofo, okay? That one is too rude for this situation. I will probably use it some day though, I can tell it's going to be a lot worse than this in the future.
I carried on driving to the shop, not a care in the world how I'm driving on the streets of a busy city. I didn't even have my eyes on the road at some point, I had to look in the mirror to see what other's would see me as.
I had mascara, black liquid mixed with my watery tears running right down to my chin. Looking exactly like Esther from Orphan. That movie creeps me out every time I watch it, even when I'm cuddling next to Johnathon.
Oh bollocks, everything thing I mention and think of had something to do with ruining my fucking life.
"Hello, welcome to Waitrose. Would you like a basket?" A young lady dressed in green uniform, said with the most fake smile ever plasted on her perfect little face.
"Yes, please." I said, tears still strolling down my cheeks. "I'd like a basket."
"Ok, could you please fill out a survery for me before hand?" She said, with the basket still in her hands, smile still there.
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