My Teddy

24

Jordan

"Thank you mom."
I say softly, sitting down in front of her.

"I mean it, you can talk to me about anything."
She says, smiling warmly.

I rest my elbows on the table.

It's past midnight and I had a nightmare so I came down for a glass of milk.

Brook went to bed a few minutes ago, after spending majority of the evening in Gabby's room.

Which it too bad because if she would have been in my arms then I wouldn't have had the nightmare.

Mom was sitting at the table drinking some coffee.

"I had a nightmare."
I whisper, not trusting my voice.

It was so horrible.

The worst one I've had in a long time.

The thing is, I want to tell someone about it, which I really weird.

I usually don't like to talk about my horrible dreams.

But mom looks like a good listener.

She's the caring type.

"Go on child. Tell mom what happened."
She coax and I find myself 'spilling the tea' (as Gabby calls it).

It was so horrible.

It was like a rerun of that night...the night of the fire.

Except my baby girl was there.

She.......I saw her burn instead of my mum, I was so terrified.

She kept on calling for me to save her but I couldn't.

You know...the regular nightmares where you try to move but your feet are stuck in place. I hate those.

Her hair turned to ashes.

Her beautiful eyes turned lifeless.

The flames killed the only light of my life.

I don't even know I'm crying until mom offers me a box of Kleenex.

I take a few tissues, blowing my nose.

"God. It scared the crap out of me."
I sniffle, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

She stares at me silently.

"I'm so sorry, Jordan. That seems like the worst."
She says, patting my shoulder motherly.

I sniffle again, smiling wobbly.

"Yeah."

"Do you tell her about your nightmares?"

I shake my head.

"No. I don't want her to worry. She's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time."
I say quietly, staring down at the table top.

When I look up again, Mom seems surprised by my comment.

"Really?"

I take a deep breath.

"Yes. I wasn't always the most....open person. People would just come and go, trying. Everybody gave up, I was just about to give up on myself when she came along. She's changed me so much and it's really hard to just imagine her being hurt in any way. I don't think I'd be able to live if something happened to her."

Mom just stares.

That's when I open my mouth and tell her the one thing that scares me the most.