My Teddy

68

Jordan

Nobody is silent on our way home from the infamous snow hill.

I didn't think I missed it as much as I do, I've forgotten how fun it was.

We took little Eli with us this time, he's a perfect addition to our little guy time.

I shouldn't call it that, I don't deserve to.

While everyone is laughing and goofing off, I clutch his little hand and admire the peaceful scenery.

I hate the cold, but I definitely don't hate how perfect snow looks on everything.

My fingers and toes are numb and my cheeks too, from smiling and laughing so hard.

I've only been skiing 3 times.

Those times back in high school when I first met Brook's parents.

It was special. And it was just as special this time around.

Eli babbles nonsense, happily dragging his sled along.

Of course his contagious laughter broke the clear tension.

Although I went into town with Brook's folks yesterday, it changed nothing.

Dad was the only one who talked to me and Julia and mom just stared at me the whole time.

When I finally got the courage to ask them about it, mom sat me down and told me exactly what she thought of me.

And I don't blame her one bit for the few (honestly? Hurtful) insults she threw my way.

"You changed."
Was the only thing Julia said to me.

She wasn't mad or sad or anything.

Just....real.

I appreciate her honesty.

This morning, it wasn't so bad. We ate breakfast as a family.

Just thinking about it makes me bite the inside of my cheek just to make sure this is all real.

It honestly felt like old times. Everyone was laughing and smiling.

Mom's new husband even invited me to his man cave to watch the game.

It wasn't forced this time and it definitely wasn't awkward.

I'm actually happy.

"I'm ready for dinner, I'm starving."
Jacob grumbles.

"Scubba scubba walla wank, Teddy weddy, smelly."
Eli sings, swinging our connected hands back and forth.

"The little one has a bit of energy left, eh?"
Pops asks, patting my shoulder.

I grin.

I like him, he's really cool.

He's Canadian and he served in Navy for 40 years.

He told me a story or 2 this morning about his experience when he saw how interested I was.

I've always wanted to be in the Navy.

Or an Aquamarine.

I used to tell my mom about it after I finished watching the documentaries as a kid, but she always waved me off.

"The day you join the Navy is the day I will die."
She always said.

It doesn't make me as sad as it used to, thinking about her.

She's watching me right now, I know she is.

She always talked about seeing me start my own family.