My Teddy

34-

{Jordan}

"Hello."
I greet my professor absentmindedly, taking my seat.

He nods his greeting, clicking away on his laptop.

I just smile to myself, opening my textbook.

The guy is secretly a softy.

He even gave me a Christmas present last year.

I love being the teacher's favorite.

These days I love being anyone's favorite, really. It's very pitiful but I'll take what I can get regardless.

Whoever said that college was hard must be the most impatient person on Earth.

I'm 3 and a half years into it and so far, I'd say that it just takes a little time to get into the routine of choosing your own hours.

I know for sure I'm appreciating it now, my career will choose my hours for me in the future.

I am definitely enjoying the time I have with Rex as well.

Even after all this time, she's still bursting with unbelievable energy.

She's the best dog in the world.

"Alright class, take out your reading notes from yesterday night..."
The professor finally starts class.

To be honest, college is a lot like high school minus the fact that the teachers don't care as much.

That and the fact that everyone is a bit more mature.

A tiny bit.

Which is still a lot in my book.
I'm not the least bit ashamed to say that I'm loving it here at TCU.

I just know that my mom would be so proud of me.

I'm about to graduate in a few months and I still can't even believe it myself.

It's been quite easy to not think about the mistakes of my life, at least for now.

I've joined many clubs and organizations over the years to take up all my energy so it's lights out the minute my head hits the pillow.

No late night tossing and turning, I've always been far too tired to do that.

But every once in a while, sometimes in class, my mind can't help but drift to her.

Not often but sometimes.

I wonder how she is. Where she is in life.

If she acts the same way.

I doesn't cry much these days, mainly because I'm so mentally challenged. It's better that way anyway because it's not like I have any friends to cheer me up anyway.

It's depressing sometimes but it's my life.

I miss how things used to be dearly but to say that I'm at peace with my decisions is a understandment.

My father was on the run for 4 years before he was caught, just last month.

The relief I felt getting that call is indescribable.

The weight that lifted off my shoulders has left me feeling a little numb.

I've been constantly looking over my shoulder, paranoid for the past few years.

One more month.

One more months until I finally get my associates degree.

One more month until I get to go back home.