My Teddy

52

I hum to myself, staring disappointedly at the bags forming under my eyes in the mirror.

This is what 3 days without falling sleep without Brook in my arms did to me.

I don't know why, but it's been so fucking hard for me to fall asleep.

That explains why I'm up at 2 in the morning, staring at myself in the mirror without blinking.

I'm a little tipsy.

I drowned about 3\4 of a big ass bottle of red wine a few minutes ago and I'm already regretting it.

"I can't stand you sometimes. You make bad decisions."
I tell myself, sneering at myself.

My reflection sneers right back.

I stick my hand in my pants as I walk out of the bathroom and collapse on my bed.

My cold bed.

I can only stay in here for a few minutes or the smell of fresh paint will kill me.

Just kidding.

It wont kill me but it'll driving me crazy.

So guess who has to sleep on the couch tonight?

This guy.

Yay.😒

I survey the room lazily, my eyes landing on the one thing I did get help painting.

God, what was I thinking, getting a picture painted on my wall?

That shit is going to stay there forever. Or until I feel like repainting. Which will be never. So yeah, forever.

I don't regret it, no, not even for a second.

I'm just a little nervous that baby will disaprove.

Me, I love it.

I spot my bottle of wine and I lazily try to reach for it.

No.

No more wine.

Brook will throw a fit when she finds out that I drink some without her.

Red wine is our drink.

Mine and hers.

I love sharing my love of wine with her.

Love sharing the love of anything with her.

I wonder if she's still awake.

Yesterday, I stayed up past 3 talking to her on the phone.

Yet, I miss her like crazy.

For the millionth time, how did I go 4 fucking years without seeing her?

I still can't get over that.

I get up and make my way downstairs slowly.

"I've had better days."
I grumble to myself, my eye twitching when I see 2 Rexes laying on the cot of the floor.

It's storming outside tonight.

Even though I made Rex a new dog house, I still want her in here with me.

The rain is scary.

The thunder is scary.

Rex hates it.

She's shivering.

Poor thing.

"Come on, baby. Get up here with daddy."
I coax softly after I sit, patting the spot next to me.