Straight Mobbing

Spooky's Essay

If you had told me four years ago that I would be sitting here in my house with a woman I'd probably say something stupid like, 'hell yeah, fine ass hyna too' to prove a point. But Anastasia Irina Alannah, is not just a fine ass hyna. She's a woman that is beautiful, intelligent, and capable. Stassie brings an undeniable brightness into a grey, dull world like the one that I live in. If sunshine could be a person, it would be her. Even with the occasional eclipse of darkness she's still a vital part of living. Stassie has saved more people in my life in a shorter period of time than I have the entire time I've been in Los Santos. Her passion for living and family have saved even my own blood, my little brother. If one day I could truly show her what that meant to me, I will.

A lot of people think it's stupid for being forced into a relationship, but little do they know that every day since August twenty-seventh I've slowly been falling for this woman. Little does she know that or about my feelings towards her. I have always been complexed in revealing my feelings or emotions. But in the last almost four months I've been terrified, happy, sad and many more things. And at every turn of that Stassie has shown me that it is okay to feel that way. I have been a hopeless, abused and misunderstood person almost my entire life. Yet I had no say in how my life played out. Los Santos has always and will be my life and family. But my future now includes an amazing woman who knows how it feels to be me. Our fucked-up lives have slowly intertwined into one. I hate how we are forced into moving our relationship faster than we would like but it is also the destiny that we both are facing.

Destiny, a word I have never used. I knew I'd always die a Santo but never knew I'd also die being loved by a woman so fierce that she could walk into any room and terrify anyone with just a look. If I could say, she is the other half of my soul. Never have I met someone who could do just what I do sometimes even better than myself. There is not a whole lot of women in our line of work, but I am glad that Stassie is, even if she isn't. Isn't it funny how life works? Stassie could have been a normal woman living out her days as a smartass in a life more normal than this in somewhere more ordinary setting but here we are sitting in my kitchen in California. Stassie couldn't have walked into my life at a more perfect point than she did.

Life after prison turned around for me. I thank Stassie, Mama Patty and the rest of the O'Neil-Kapvoich family for the love that they've shown me. I appreciate everything that they are doing for Los Santos. I am thankful for the care that they have taken in their new members. I have never seen a more caring mob than the one they run.

When Cesar grows up, I want him to have more opportunities than were given to me. I want him to graduate high school, college even. I want to see the life that he'll have. I want to see the life that I should have. I want to marry you, Stassie. One day. Not forced upon us but for love and romance. I hope you know that. I want to get you pregnant as many times as you will let me. I want to raise those hopefully beautiful red-haired kids with you. But I also want to get them away from gang or mob land. I want to give them the chance to break from family traditions and become their own people. Yet we both know that we'd have to hide them good enough where no one could find them. But I also don't want to be away from them. I want all the feelings that come along with family, since mine as always been a hateful, cruel one.

My life is a fucked up messy, bloody life. But I know I'll never escape. Happiness only comes with a price and we both know that price. But I hope that together we can make our life together a cheerful, glorious one. Thank you for saving me from the dull gang life. Thank you for studying with me and never once making fun of me or giving me a hard time for being dumb. Thank you for loving me. 

Just thank you Stassie.

This isn't a thousand words. We all know that Spooky doesn't follow rules, so, why would the essay be any different? Also I know that its all over the place. You have to understand that I'm writing it as if I was the uneducated Spooky.