i miss you | e.d.

1

2 years and 5 days since i lost my mom.

2 months and 3 days since i lost my brother.

my mom was the only real parent in the house. my dad smoked and drank all the time.

my brother was my bestfriend. he was always the person i was closest too. when he died it broke me completely. i miss him more than ever.

his funeral was a month ago and i don't think i've ever felt so lost. my brother and i had the same group of friends, who all showed up to pay their respects and overall just grieve with me.

when we moved to new jersey 2 months ago, we had finished out my sophomore year and jackson's junior year with them.

we left at the end of may and were forced to change our numbers due to the new area code, i found out about jackson's cancer in june, and he died at the end of july.

it's now september. i still know absolutely no one, and i don't have my brother to help me.

my dad stopped drinking and became a workaholic instead. he's always at the hospital or sleeping.

since he lost both his son and his wife to cancer, he overworks to save other cancer patients and just people in general to make up for the loss he feels.

we don't talk about our feelings or anything. and it really sucks because before all the death, i was such a happy person. now i cant tell you the last time i slept without crying or even smiled.

i give in sometimes and text jackson. it seems crazy because he's dead, but i just need to feel like i'm talking to him.

me: please come back
me: i miss you so much

i close my phone and try to not to cry, but fail in the end.

i open it again feeling something telling me he would answer. i felt stupid for thinking that. i certainly felt crazy when i open the messages

me: please come back
me: i miss you so much
read 3:02am

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A/N: short lil first chapter :)

totally edited this 5 years later..