i miss you | e.d.

18

i see melody in the hallway on monday and go straight up to her.

"you need to tell him today." i say flatly.

"what? why you said i had a week!" she raised her voice.

"too bad i'm cutting ur time down. i don't give a shit what you want. you're telling him today." i paused and see ethan walk into school. "oh look there he is."

"ethan!" i say calling his attention. he smile and kisses melody's head. she looks scared shitless.

good.

"hello to my two favorite girls" he says smiling. oh this is gonna break him and i'm not ready to see him sad.

"uh yeah melody needs to tell you something." i say looking to melody.

"i um. well you see- i just" she stutters.

"oh no what happened?" ethan asks looking at me.

"cameron- uh i mean i- well"

"melody spit it out" i warn.

"i cheated on you." she said rolling her eyes.

"you w-what?" ethan said backing away from her. the sadness quickly filled his eyes and he looked back to me.

"and you knew?" he said disgusted.

"me and grayson found out on saturday we just-"

"you PROMISED sophia." he yelled.

"it wasn't mine or grayson place to tell you. i told melody she had week before i forced her to tell you. but i made her tell you today because we made that promise." i said.

"i don't care." he quietly says to me. he then turns to melody and speaks. "we're done." he then walks off and out the doors.

"look what you fucking did sophia." melody says.

"me?! oh fuck no. look what YOU FUCKING DID." i screamed in her face.

"you're just mad because he wanted me and not you. that's why you want me to tell him so bad huh! you want him for yourself. you selfish bitch!" she yells pushing me.

"I WOULD NEVER BE A HOME WRECKER LIKE THAT SO DONT EVEN TRY IT. YOU FUCKING CHEATED AND THAT SHIT DOESNT FLY WITH ME." i yelled pushing her back but harder.

"aw has poor little sophia been cheated on?" she popped out her bottom lip and teased me. "guess what. your lame ass deserved it. ethan doesn't want you, grayson doesn't want you, NOBODY will want you." she pushes past me knocking into my shoulder.  i feel a tear fall and i quickly wipe it away.

a crowd had formed around us and i saw grayson watching the whole thing. he knows i don't want him like that, so i'm not worried about that, but i just didn't want him or anyone knows things about my past. plus i'm embarrassed.

i quickly walk out of the school just like ethan did. guess both of us are gonna go home upset.

i had forced myself to turn my phone off since grayson was blowing up my phone along with claire. snapchat was filled with the video of melody and i pushing each other. the only part you could hear was her making fun of me being cheated on before. and telling me how i was never gonna be wanted.

she's right though.

my ex cheated on me because i wouldn't have sex with him and he didn't want me.

ethan wouldn't ever see me like that because he doesn't want me like that. and now he doesn't even want me as a friend.

i stayed in my room crying here and there for the rest of the day until i fell asleep.

the next morning i had no energy or will to get up, but since i skipped school yesterday i had to. i put on leggings and jackson's blue champion hoodie. i looked in the mirror and started crying.

"i need you j. i really wish you were still here." i whisper.

i walk out of my house not bothering to eat breakfast. i get in my car and drive to school, occasionally tearing up.

wearing my brothers hoodie and being this upset makes me miss him so much right now.

i come to a red light and bang my fist onto the steering wheel, hard. i start full on crying, so i pull over not wanting to get in a wreck.

i need to pull myself together. i do the only thing i can think of. i pull out my phone and go to my camera roll. i scroll back a couple months until i find a video of jackson. he's being a crackhead but we were having so much fun with our friends.

he spoke and then laughed and my heart broke. i haven't heard that in so fucking long. i watched through videos of jackson for a couple minutes until i calmed down a little. sure i'm still hurting but i need to stop crying and get to school without dying.

i started the car again and drove the rest of the way to school. when i parked in my parking spot, i pulled down the visor and opened the mirror looking at my reflection. i barely had any mascara left, so i quickly re-applied some.

i then got out of the car and walked in wiping whatever wetness there was away from under my eyes. i lightly pull the door open and walk in.

i don't think many people noticed me so i was really relieved about that. i still have yet to turn my phone back on so i decided that i would do that. i held the power button until it turned on, and instantly my phone flooded with text messages from grayson and ethan.

i opened my locker, and switched out my books and stuff per usual. i looked down to my phone and let out a large sigh. i raked my hands through my hair and picked up my phone again. first i want to ethans messages because it was weird that he texted me while he was mad.

ethan- are you okay?
ethan- i'm so sorry for yelling at you and blaming you
ethan- grayson told me what happened after i left
ethan- he didn't really tell me exactly what she said but he said you left school and went ghost.
ethan- soph i'm sorry

me- it's fine ethan i'm okay we are okay.

i'm not mad at him at all. so there's no reason to not accept his apology.

grayson- i tried to go after you but you drove off
grayson- are you okay
grayson- melody is so wrong. i hope you know she's just jealous.
grayson- i talked to ethan.
grayson- i hope you're okay.

me- i'm okay. thanks gray.

i barely had the emotional energy to deal with anything today so i seem rude as fuck but i'm just tired.

i walk into the bathroom before first period to just be by myself before i see other people. i'm an emotional mess right now.

i hear the late bell ring meaning i was gonna be late to class. fuck. ethan and i both have this class, so i really don't know what's gonna happen.

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A/N: i might update one more chapter after this so stay tuned.