i miss you | e.d.

11

"oh no. no no no." i mutter to myself starting to walk back into the school. no why does this hurt?

my feet move fast as i dart into the bathroom. my breathing starts so get heavier but i quickly calm it down wanting to avoid any anxiety attacks.

yes he's my best friend but goddamnit i have feelings for him. all the blushing, the butterflies, when my heart would race, the sparks when we kissed in the field....

i feel my phone buzz and i turn it over knowing it's ethan.

eth: hey soph where r u?

me: sorry i had to pee

i shut my phone off and walk out of the bathroom. i fill my lungs with slow deep breaths preparing myself.

when i push the front doors open, the girl is still at ethans car. ethans back is leaned up against the drivers side, while the girl is standing really close in front of him.

she starts laughing and looks down. ethan brings his hand up to her face and lightly glides his fingers behind her ear, tucking a piece of her brown hair out of her face.

damn.

i start to visibly approach the car and ethan turns his head. his smile is prominent, as he opens his mouth to speak.

"soph! this is melody. melody, this is my best friend sophia" we both exchange an awkward 'hi' and she backs away from ethan.

"okay well i'd better get going i have to meet the girls at the mall soon" ethan nods and places a kiss on melody's cheek. she smiles and then leaves. i awkwardly stand there not knowing what to do.

"okay soph lets go do something fun" he excitedly smiles getting into the car. i follow and get into the passenger seat.

"so how'd you and melody meet?" i ask trying to make conversation.

"she's in my 2nd period. we got partnered for a project and hit it off from there." he smiles and i lightly smile back.

"she's really pretty." i say. she is. she looks more like ethans type. melody is popular and has pretty brown hair. she's model like skinny, and is gorgeous. no wonder he likes her.

"i know right? i was so surprised that she had an interest in me because she's WAY out of my league." he says. i turn to him with my eye brows raised.

"what?" he says confused.

"out of your league?" i chuckle. "ethan SHE is out of YOUR league." i say. he smiles and looks back at the road while driving.

"thanks soph." he says. i look over at him and i swear my eyes are playing tricks on me. his cheeks look tinted pink from blush. i'm just going crazy. i return my eyes back to the road, and look off out of the window.

"okay so we can go back to my place, we can go to the park, we can do whatever you'd like." he says.

"the park sounds fun honestly." i say turning to him.

"and this is why you're my best friend." he smiles driving us to the park.

we decided to chill at the playground since both of us loved to be a kid again sometimes.

"race ya to the swings!" i said quickly laughing while darting over to the large swing set. i could hear ethan laughing behind me as he ran.

i reached the swing set first and declared my victory.

"and the winner is.....ME" i said with a great big smile. ethan chuckled and blamed it on my "head start".

we both took in the comfortable silence in the air as the wind blew a light breeze across our faces. my legs lightly swayed back and forth keeping the swing in motion. ethan did the same.

i couldn't get my mind off of ethan and melody. for some reason my brain keeps racking itself about ethan and melody and i feel hurt by it?

ever since ethan kissed me, i keep feeling like my mind is always on ethan.

"whatcha thinking about?" ethan broke the silence.

"oh nothing" i say softly trying to sound believable.

"lies. you do that thing where you bite the inside of your lip whenever you're deep in thought." he said pointing to my lip. i chuckle and look down.

"i was just.... thinking about how cute you and melody are. you know like kinda wanting a boyfriend you know?" i say trying to have a reasonable cover up my actual thoughts.

"thank you and i get that. maybe we should find you someone." he says. my heart hurts a little bit.

"yeah" i say softly.

"well you know new years is coming up...and maybe we could find you someone to spend it with. and maybe even christmas too." he said excitedly. i just slightly smiled up at him and nodded my head. i don't talk to literally anyone besides ethan and grayson.

now that i think about it feel kinda guilty. i havent really hung out with gray much lately. i wonder how he is. i should check on him.

my fingers move to my text messages and click on graysons contact.

me- hey gray you wanna maybe hang out tomorrow? we haven't hung out in a while:(

it didn't take him very long to respond.

gray- sounds fun.
gray- and yeah we both been pretty busy:( can't wait to catch up :)

me- okay bet i'll pick you up tomorrow and we can go do something.

gray- bet. what time?

me- 2?

gray- sounds good!

i smile and instantly feel less guilty and better. kinda missed grayson as well.

"someone got real smiley" ethan says poking my side.

"yeah i just made plans to hang out with gray tomorrow. i felt bad for not hanging out with him in a while and he's also one of my best friends, you know?" i said turning to look at ethan.

"oh. yeah" he says. we go back to swinging and talk a little more.