i miss you | e.d.

31

sean's memorial service is today, and i'm currently standing in front of my full length mirror. the black dress that i picked out to wear was fitted nicely on my body, and matched with the black clutch i had from freshman year homecoming.

i took a deep breath before grabbing onto my phone. my fingers navigated quickly towards ethans contact.

me: hey just to make sure, the service is at grayson church right?

eth: yep.

me: see you in 15
read 11:04

he's being kinda standoffish but i understand given the circumstances.

my feet quickly but carefully, since i'm in heels, travel down the stairs. my hand reaches for the doorknob and twists it open.

when i climb into my car, i play some kid cudi and drive to the church that sean's service is at. when i get there i see the beautiful flowers and signs leading up to the visitation room.

"hey gray" i say when we sees me walk in. i wrap my arms around him in a hug and we just stay there like that for a minute.

"thank you so much for coming soph." he says.

"you're welcome gray. i wouldn't miss it for the world." he smiles a weak smile at me and i give him one more hug.

"where e?" i ask. grayson scans around the room and furrows his eyebrows.

"i don't know i just saw him talking to our grandpa a second ago. i nod and speak.

"i'm gonna go find lisa." grayson nods and i walk off to find lisa. once i do my heart breaks for her. tears fill her eyes as she's talking to someone. i walk up and when she looks my way a small smile appears on her face.

"sophia honey, thank you so much for coming." she wraps me in a hug and i hug back.

"of course" i say softly. "how are you holding up?" o ask cautiously.

"i'm hurting a bit but i'm doing okay." she says. i smile at her and she returns the smile.

out of the corner of my eye, i see ethan walk out of some room on the side of the church. i tell lisa that i'm gonna go see ethan and she nods.

"ethan!" i call but not too loud since it's a church.

his head turns to me and his eyes are red and puffy. he was crying.

"come here" i say motioning him to hug me. he obliges and wraps his large muscular arms around my shoulders. he clings on tight to the hug as if it's the last one he'll ever get.

"thanks for coming soph" he says whispers softly into my hair.

i nod my head and he hugs me even tighter. god i remember being in his position when my mom died.

*flashback*

jackson tackles me into a hug and we just stand there. my eyes flood with tears as the realization hits. she's gone. i'm never going to be able to see my mother again.

"shhh" jackson says. "it's gonna be okay saint. i'm here." he hugs me and i hug him tighter.

if it weren't for my brother i would've lost it when my mom died.

"come on saint let's go into the visitation." i nod and follow him in. jackson always stayed so strong for me and i feel horrible for never taking his feelings into account.

*end of flashback*

ethan and i walk into the visitation room and he walks over to see sean.

(i'm skipping to after incase anyone is sensitive to this kind of stuff <3)
-

after we got back from the service, ethan went straight to his room. i decided to let him have his time.

grayson on the other hand was busy, busy, and more busy. he kept finding things to occupy his time. which in a sense can be healthy but also unhealthy.

"gray." i say as he paces through the kitchen. "gray." still no answer. "HEY GRAPE HEAD" he looks up and chuckles.

"yes sophia?" he says.

"slow down and take a breather. you're doing a lot right now." i say softly. he sighs and puts whatever he was doing down onto the table.

"you're right. i guess was just over occupying my time to take my mind off of what happened. if i don't have time to over think i don't have time to be sad." he says.

"gray...sometimes it's okay to be sad." i say hugging him. he nods and hugs me back.

———
A/N: it's a filler again IM SORRYYYY

i'm posting a chapter RIGHT AFTER THIS :))))

it will be the next months and the twins will be doing better i promise. again i'm sorry for the fillers 😭