Astrid Fraser has been looking for her soulmate since she received her soul mark at 10. After 18 years, she began thinking she'd never find him... until fate decided to step in.
Will he accept her knowing that she is different?
Will he accept her...
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4 April 2022
I was so nervous. Despite the chill in the air, I was sweating buckets.
The day had finally arrived, but I was not ready to face the woman who tried to kill me. My Bangtan family and I – minus Sophie who was currently with Yoongi's parents at the house – were seated in a room my lawyer had organised. I tried to pay attention to what they were saying, but I had no attention or concentration bandwidth to process it all.
The more I tried to focus, the more it slipped further away as tremors set in. Everything felt like I was under water. I knew I wasn't having an allergic reaction since I couldn't stomach anything for breakfast, but I was having similar symptoms of not being able to breathe and my heart beating so fast I thought it would stop from overuse.
"My love, breathe for me," a voice that somewhat sounded familiar filled my ears. It started speaking again, but I could only pick up a few words or phrases. "Joon... lawyer... panic attack... needs to stall."
I felt something warm on my face but I was so numb that I didn't have any idea what it was. "Sweetheart, breathe with me. Come on, in one two three four. Hold it, oh good girl, doing so well. Now breathe out two three four."
After a few rounds of breathing, I began to recognise where I was. I looked down at Yoongi kneeling on his haunches between my knees, his hands on my face grounding me. He kept counting, helping me to come back.
"Doing so well, beautiful. I need you to tell me five things you can see, Astrid," he coaxed in a soft and delicate tone.
I looked around the room, seeing some blurry shapes but the table beside me, the carpet, his body, Jimin sitting beside me with a worried look, and my cousin on the other side were clear.
"Doing well my love," he said sweetly after I told him. "Now four things you can touch."
"My j-jumper," I started, my voice shaky and breathy. "The chair, your arm, my leg."
My breathing was still laboured, but my head was clearing. He continued asking for three things I could hear, two that I could smell, and one thing I could taste. I had to admit, by the end, I was feeling much better.
"Wh-what happened?"
I was shocked to hear I had a panic attack. I have had anxiety most of my life, but I had never had a panic attack like this before where I had completely disconnected from everything. No wonder Jimin and Yoongi looked pale and scared.
"Astrid-ssi," the middle-aged prosecuting lawyer, Seong Eun-Sook, entered the room, bowing politely. I had always loved her name, even more so when I was told the meaning of it – justice, kindness, mercy, and charity merging with goodness, purity, virtuousness. If ever there was a name perfect for a lawyer seeking justice, it was hers. "Are you feeling okay? Mr Kim just informed me of your panic attack. I really hate to push you if you're not alright, but I can't stall any longer."
