THESE HIDDEN WINGS

[133] CHOOSE ME (PART-TWO)

•|•|•

The world will always genuinely suck

•|•|•

I STARED BLANKLY at the wall, voices around me seemed dulled even if they were only a few feet away. It was well into the evening, the sun already retired from the sky, and the bright stars twinkling faintly through the light windows of Claire's and Lira's room.

My gaze gingerly slid to the side, eyeing the bin that was half full with our supper.

Clair groaned beside me as she laid on her belly face in the blankets.

"Oh, it was horrible," she groaned into her pillow gaining my attention.

Lira scoffed as she walked past her, dumping the paper napkins she had into the bin, then licking her fingers off, completely missing the purpose of a napkin, I noted.

"It was your first training class and you're already complaining," Lira commented as Claire groaned again.

"There was no personal protege training, Lira," she huffed, "heck he wasn't even there, we were trained by the twins, and let me tell you," she grunted, glancing up lazily at Lira, "they're more merciless than they look," she huffed.

Lira only rolled her eyes calling her a big baby.

My eyes lingered over Claire's groaning frame one more time, but couldn't bring myself to care, my mind taking root inside of my memory, unable to believe that Harvest had done that.

But, what did I expect him to do?

Choose me?

Why? When all this time I was begging for him to do the opposite, to let me be.

My lips pursed together. It was because he didn't care, never had. He was a master at this so-called game of his and he knew exactly how to make me play against myself.

There was no way I could ever, ever be anything to him but a little mute weak girl. That's why it was so easy for him to walk all over me-

But this should be good. I was done with him. Done with the drama. All of it.

I paused, my heart thudding as I stared out into nothingness. I shouldn't care...

This was what I wanted...

It is. It always has been... I don't care. I don't care... I don't...

"Are you okay there reddy?" Lira asked, causing my gaze to snap back at her, her curious eyes narrowing down on me, "you seem upset," she huffed, folding her arms.

Claire seemed to have heard this, slightly adjusting her position, turning to face me thoughtfully, her head laid against the pillow,

"Yeah, you look down since this afternoon," she echoed, "are you alright? Did something happen in Color class?" she asked.

The answer to that question was ONE THING happened in Color Class this afternoon. 

He happened and like always he managed to ruin everything for me.

I managed a small faltering smile, unable to keep it up, but shook my head, my throat dry, staring down at the floor for a moment.

I felt Claire's gaze narrow on mine, suddenly sitting up,

"How- are you sure you're okay?" she asked softly.

I tried to not let anything show, so so hard, but I couldn't stop my eyes from clouding feeling as weak as I had known myself to be and very exhausted.