THESE HIDDEN WINGS

[143] TUSK

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Two nightmare large wings.

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I HAD BEEN waiting for this moment.

Standing in the middle of my room, I momentarily glanced at Daya's empty bed, noting to myself there was no way she was going to barge in as she was undoubtedly busy with the Firewall recruits...just as Harvest was busy with Claire at the moment.

I gritted my teeth at the thought.

He did think of me as weak despite all he said last time. I closed my eyes trying to reason with myself.

Maybe he only said that because he couldn't tell Miss Alumulese he had promised not to use his dilect on me-

Well, that didn't stop him from blatantly reading my mind.

I breathed out trying to stop my thoughts from running wild because I knew it would only lead to more confusing thoughts when I only needed to focus on one thing.

My breathing was low and hoarse when I stared down at the ivory-looking wand in my hand.

[the walls have ears and the doors have eyes]

The words echoed through me, and I looked up into my empty room, turning around and switching off the light so that only the streaks of moonlight waltzing through the window allowed me to see.

I walked closer to the desk by the window, replaying all that Miss Almulese had said.

She was the only one kind enough to help me with my powers it seemed, and whatever this conductor was, I was sure it would deliver as she promised.

I took a deep breath out, relaxing my shoulders.

All I needed to do was focus.

Transform me into energy, and take me from here to the back of the room.

A simple short teleportation spell. She had said it herself that the wand would take me where I needed to be.

All I had to do was picture it.

I didn't want to go too far, so the back of the room was best.

If that worked I would try going further, I reasoned.

I felt anxious for a moment and a second I started to doubt myself, but I brushed the feeling off, closing my eyes.

Taking out a low deep breath, I mouthed those words, reaching out into the streams of magic. I waited for the flow, for the move, for the current and yet-

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

I looked down at the wand for a second, jaw tightening. It was supposed to help and yet just like the wilting wand, it was useless to me.

Where were my powers that little, that weak, that even a powerful conductor failed to work?

My breathing was harsh at this, disappointment oozing through me.

I didn't even want to try again.

I had been trying for way too long it seemed, trying to get what was happening in this crazy world of mine, and like always, I fell short.

I simply was not enough.

Well, I was done making myself feel like nothing, for trying and failing. I should accept this, and be who I've always been.