The Little Dragon

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Wednesday, August 6th

Kaida

Welcome to Season Three.

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    When I woke up I was looking up at my father who looked at me with worry in his eyes, Hyo hovering over him. All I felt was numbness. Was this real? Was Baba right in front of me? I didn't care.

     I turned my back to them, all I saw was a familiar cave wall. I was back under the volcano. So I guess this is where home was for me. Strange how its been over eight years since I had last been here.

    I wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation. This was truly square one.

    "Kaida." Baba's voice filled the cave completely. I didn't even flinch at his tone. I was numb to the world. This hopeless, foolish world. "Kaida," There was worry in his voice like there was something he wanted to tell me yet he couldn't.

    There was a moment of silence, "My daughter," he kept trying to get a reaction out of me. His voice was filled with so much pain, like seeing me like this was hurting him. "Kaida your fire is-" He couldn't finish his sentence. My fire was what?

    I reached an imaginative hand down the pool of my soul trying to grab the fire that was no longer there. My body froze. Where was my fire?

    No.

    Tears welled up in my eyes.

    No, please.

     I kept going down, trying to find the flicker of fire that I was hoping could be left. Yet there was none. Not even a flicker. When I reached the bottom, the foundation of my fire was in a disarray. It must have been out before I came here or my father would have saved me. 

    I helplessly tried to put the fire back together, but the foundation wouldn't set alight. Tears dripped down the side of my face down onto the stone floor.

     It's over. It's all over. I wrapped my hands around my body, holding myself close. "Kaida." Baba smoke blew into my face. He was hoving over me, but I was too weak to look. "It's going to be okay."

    But it wasn't. Nothing was going to be okay. The Avatar was dead, along with the revolution. My love was dead to me, probably rejoicing over my ruinous state. My love for Fire Bending, never to be able to be used again. A sniffle came out of me before it was sobs.

    I clenched my fists. I should have killed them all right then and there. To make this suffering worth it. They killed the most beautiful thing in the world. Snuffed it out. Yet, I allowed them to walk away with it.

    "Kaida!" I stiffened at Baba's raised voice. I felt his large body circle around me. "You mustn't think thoughts like that." What's the point. It's not like I can take action on my thoughts. Not anymore at least.

    I tried one last time to pull at my fire. Nothing. I opened the palm of my fist, looking at it, hoping that flame would burst from it, but nothing happened.

    I stayed there for an hour, looking at my palm, just for nothing to happen. It was pitch black in this cave. I must have looked at my palm for half a day. Yet nobody moved.

     I put my palms on the floor. Pushing myself up. Baba was startled by my actions, getting up instantly. "Kaida?" He was worried about me moving. Concerned with what I would do next.

    I started walking towards the entrance of the cave. The part of the cave where I was abandoned all those years ago. When I got to the mouth, I sat down crossing my legs, resting them on my knees.

    It was time for meditation. I let out a breath closing my eyes on the rising sun.

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    It's been six days. Every day I dedicated my meditation to one person. The first one was Aang, then Katara, Sokka, Toph, Azula, and finally, Zuko. I thought of our history, how they have wrong me, and how I have wronged them. Every day I felt my fire kindle a bit more. Like I was slowly putting my fire together again.

     The most painful person was Zuko, which is why I put him off to last. To think of all the times he has wronged me, and the few times that I have wronged him. It was painful to look at my lover in that light. He meant the world to me and more. Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was like him.

    We both were forced into situations that we didn't want to be. Then I thought to the dragon mark, how I took it back. If our paths didn't cross when they did, and I wasn't forced to stay at the palace, would I have given it to him?

    To the Fire Prince, I had pitied all these years. A Prince who was weaker than his sister in every way but love. Yet now, weaker in every aspect, how does he manage to survive while he was blindly searching for the honor?

    I had honor. Self-made honor. Honor that could never break because I had made it myself. Mine was not fragile, because only I could break it. I never understood the Prince's need for honor, when he had it the entire time.

    Think of the honor he would have earned from taking down his father with the Avatar. It was the tougher path, maybe, but it was the most redeeming one.

    Was there anything Zuko could do to have me forgive him? That thought had me thinking for hours before coming to a conclusion.

    I would forgive him. Not easily, and not for certain. But I would. The burn on my arm still ached. Does that make me weak to forgive the person who did me so wrong?

    Yes.

    And no.

    That's the thing about love. It will be your greatest strength and your greatest weakness. I have learned this first hand as I tried to rekindle my fire slowly. Though did that make me not want to smash his skull in for betraying me?

    Yes.

    And No.

    Love is such a mysterious thing. I hated him, yet loved him endlessly. He was my best friend and my greatest enemy. I sat thinking for a little while longer.

      When I felt the sun start to rise on the seventh day, I snapped my eyes open and watched the sunrise. When the sun was high in the sky, I stood, using my hands to help myself up. I dusted myself off. The ash of the volcano had gotten on me. I smiled at the horizon, watching the waves crash down on the beach of the earth village below.

    When I turned, I was met with my father, sitting a few feet away smiling down at me. Hyo was behind him, his tail flicking happily to see me finally. "You have made it out of the darkest tunnel by yourself." The worry in his eyes was gone, now filled with relief and happiness.

    I looked back towards the sea behind me. If I looked dead ahead, somewhere over the horizon, Zuko stayed. Somewhere out there the gAang was struggling. "I'm not out yet." I turned to Baba, raising my hand.

    I light my hand on my fire, the color was pure white. "There is still a lot to do." A smile back on my face.

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