- twenty -

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jongho silently stared at yeosang, then began to chew at his lip.

"would you be upset if it was?"

yeosang shook his head, continuing to stare at jongho as he awaited a response.

"yeah... it's me. i figured it out when we started texting and you brought up how i helped you calm down..."

are you okay that it's me?

"of course i am, yeosang... why wouldn't i be?"

because i'm a mess.

"i am too... and that's okay. us being messes was the reason we met."

yeosang smiled gently through his tears, holding in a small giggle. jongho put his hand out, inviting the older to take his hand, and yeosang gave him a confused look.

"do you trust me?"

yeosang nodded, carefully taking the boy's hand.

"lets go downstairs soon. we don't have to go right away, but i think you should let wooyoung know you're okay."

okay. thank you for being here, jongho.

"i'm never going to not be here, okay?"

never say never, you can't predict the future.

"then i will always fight to be there for you."

promise?

"i do."

yeosang gave a slight nod, taking a deep breath. jongho carefully wiped the boy's tear-stained cheeks, giving him a soft smile.

thank you, yeosang mouthed.

jongho nodded in response and gave the boy's hand a squeeze, encouraging him to go downstairs. yeosang got up from his seat, putting the fidget spinner he was playing with in his pocket, then started to pull jongho towards the door, causing the younger to laugh.

"hey... if you decide you want to leave, let me know, okay? i'll walk you home or we can hang out ourselves or something."

you'd be up for that?

"i would. but only if you want to, okay? i don't want you to feel forced to do anything with me."

yeosang nodded and smiled slightly, then started down the stairs, hiding his lightly red-tinted cheeks. jongho smiled and followed, making eye contact with wooyoung when he got downstairs.

"sangie!" wooyoung said excitedly, giving jongho a "we should talk after" look.

he pulled the older to sit next to him and jongho went to sit next to san, but yeosang quickly grabbed onto his hand again, wanting the boy close. instead of questioning it, he nodded and sat down beside the boy, allowing him to play with his fingers while wooyoung filled him in on what had happened while the two were upstairs.

seonghwa and hongjoong were outside, talking about the car ride and other things, according to wooyoung. yeosang was still concerned that he was at fault, quickly sighing and letting go of jongho's hand, then taking out his phone.

can i please go talk to him? i just want to apologize for being there in the first place when i could've just asked you to pick me up.

"are you sure, sangie?" wooyoung asked.

i'll bring jongho with me. i just feel bad.

"yeosang... you don't have to feel bad," jongho whispered.

"when you guys get back inside, can i talk to you, jongho?" san asked.

jongho nodded, then grabbed yeosang's hand after noticing him tense up.

"its okay, yeo..." he whispered, running his thumb across the boy's hand.

yeosang nodded and took a deep breath and stood up.

"i've got you. i won't leave your side... okay?"

yeosang nodded once more and headed towards the door, halting when he noticed seonghwa putting his arm around hongjoong.

i don't know if i can do this.

"i'm right here, yeo... you've got this."

the two walked outside, jongho behind yeosang, encouraging him to move forward. hongjoong quickly noticed and started to move away from seonghwa in a panic, almost as if he didn't want anyone to know his feelings towards the older. seonghwa frowned and tried to pull the boy close again, but he continued to resist.

you don't have to resist if you like him, hongjoong, yeosang typed.

"i-i—"

"shh..." seonghwa soothed, gently rubbing the boy's side. "listen to him, okay?"

i'm sorry i upset you earlier, hongjoong. i didn't mean to.

jongho stayed behind the boy, gently rubbing his back as he shakily typed what he had to say into his phone.

if i had known you were going with seonghwa i would've asked woo to come get me or just walked myself. i'm really sorry.

"yeosang..." hongjoong frowned, feeling guilty. "don't beat yourself up like that, please... you had no ill intentions. i should've considered the fact that hwa was just trying to make you comfortable on the ride here and not jumped to the conclusion he liked you. that was my fault."

are you sure? i feel really bad...

"yeo, it's okay..." jongho whispered, noticing the boy's hands getting shakier.

he gently began to rub yeosang's sides, doing his best to comfort him. seonghwa noticed and felt a slight pang of jealousy at how close yeosang and jongho seemed, but let it slide as he realized that in reality, he was the one at fault.

"it's neither of your faults..." seonghwa blurted out. "it's mine. i'm the one who didn't tell you that i was bringing hongjoong too and i'm the one who asked you to sit in the back without explaining why. neither of you deserve to feel bad for my faults."

yeosang felt tears well up in his eyes and he quickly typed something into his phone, showing it to jongho.

i need to go back inside, i can't do this right now :/ help please i just can't

"c'mon, sangie."

"jongho... i was talking to him," seonghwa said, a bit annoyed.

yeosang tensed at the tone of his voice and jongho carefully pulled him close, relaxing him.

"hyung... i really need to go inside, okay? a-and i need to bring yeosang with me, i'm sorry."

"but—"

"let them go, hwa," hongjoong said softly, noticing yeosang's distressed state.

seonghwa sighed and nodded, then the two boys went inside and jongho quickly brought yeosang back up to wooyoung's room.

"hey... hey, you're okay, yeo," jongho cooed softly, holding the boy's hands. "let me help you, just like last time... okay?"

yeosang shook his head, letting his tears fall as he tried to push jongho's hands away despite knowing he needed the help.

"don't do this, yeo... hey, hey... just look at me," jongho said softly, cupping one of yeosang's cheeks.

yeosang felt everything pause at that moment, only focusing on jongho. he had only met him in person twice, but from their two months of letters and their two weeks of texts, it felt like he had known him for a lifetime.

he knew in that moment, jongho was his world.

_______
a/n:
and so the story progresses...

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