Chase The Dark Together || Nishimura Riki (Ni-Ki)

42 ¦ Survivor's Guilt

I don't know why I hadn't called Victoria beforehand and warned her that I was coming to see her. I also hadn't thought about what her parents would think if they saw me like this. So devastated and broken. And even more so, I hadn't worried about whether or not she had visitors. 

So I rang the doorbell as I stood at Victoria's front door, trying to pull myself together. I had wiped away the tears and was trying hard to stop any more. Luckily for me, she opened the door herself and not her mother or father. 

"Camila, what are you doing here?" She looked at me in surprise. I tried to swallow the knot in my throat, but a sob escaped me instead, I couldn't get a word out. Victoria's expression immediately changed from surprised to concerned and she pulled me into the house by the arm, then closed the door. 

"What happened?" She asked worriedly, trying to read from my face what had happened. Now I couldn't hold back the tears and just shook my head. She pulled me into her arms and I started sobbing uncontrollably. 

"Let's go to my room." She said, disengaging herself and gently pulling me up to her room. 

As we walked past the living room, I saw that Heeseung was sitting on the sofa, looking at us in surprise. I turned my head away from him, hoping he wouldn't see my tears, and went upstairs with Victoria. 

Once in her room, she closed the door behind us and we sat down on the bed. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asked me and I buried my face in my hands. 

"I'm so stupid." The words came out between many sobs and I was surprised that I could say anything at all. She pulled me close so I put my head against her chest. 

"You're not stupid." She said, causing more tears to come. I don't know why, but when people said nice things to me when I cried, it only made me cry more. Victoria kissed me my forehead and stroked my back, intending to calm me down. I don't know how long we sat like that without talking, but eventually she was able to calm me down a bit and I slowly sat up and looked at her. 

"Do you want me to get you something to drink?" Vic looked at me questioningly and I nodded, realizing that my mouth felt slimy. What is it about salivating when you cry? 

"Water?" Again I nodded and she slowly stood up. 

"Be right back." She still said and then walked out of the room. My cheeks were all cold and wet from the tears as I wiped them and my eyes hurt from crying. Can't the tears be enough already? I don't want to cry anymore... 

I had never felt so used. The whole two weeks had just been a lie. Had Yeonjun planned it when I had first met him? Had he even been drunk on the first party I met him? I clutched my head, hoping that all the questions would finally go away. But they didn't. New tears formed and I groaned in frustration. Stop crying Camila, damn it. 

Pissed off, I wiped away another tear and stood up. I walked out of the room and into the bathroom, which was across from Victoria's room. As I stood in front of the mirror, I bit my lower lip. Okay I had been thinking to myself that I looked okay while crying, but that I looked like shit... embarrassing.