1. Police : Hello?
Me : THERES ALOT OF DEAD PEOPLE HERE!
Police : Where are you?
Me : The graveyard.
___________
2. Friend : Did you trip?
Me : No, the floor was lonely. I simply gave it a hug.
Friend : In Target?!
Me : Hey, I'm sorry I can't hug all the floors in the world.
___________
3. Me : Did you do your homework?
Friend : No
Me : Ok, good I'm not the only one.
___________
4. Me : IM A NINJA!
Stupid retarded guy : NO YOUR NOT!
Me : YES I AM!
Stupid retarded guy : NO!
Me : Then did you see me do that?
Stupid retarded guy : Do what?
Me : EXACTLY!
___________
5. Dora : Do you know where the banana trees are?
Kids : * Silence *
Dora : THAATS RIGHHTT!!
Me : Dora's deaf.
____________
6. * In principals office *
Principal : Have a seat.
Me : Thanks
* Takes chair and walks out of the room *
____________
7. Stupid friend : Someone likes you...
Me : Who?!
Stupid friend : I can't tell you...
Me : THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU TELL ME? Son of a bitch, now I'm curious.
Stupid friend : * Gives retarded smile *
_____________
8. * Tries to spell word *
* Cannot spell word *
* Uses different word *
______________
9. Me : Hey, what's up?
Smartass friend : The sky. Teehee
Me : No, like what your doin.
Smartass friend : Talking to you, duh.
Me : Oh my fucking god. Remind me why I'm your friend again?
Smartass friend : Cuz I'm a clever bitch!
____________
10. Me : Hey. Put my laundry in the fridge. I think I'm retarded sometimes. :P
Friend : Lol. I do that too.
Me : What? Put your clothes in the fridge?
Friend : No, think your retarded.
Me : Well fuck you too.
YOU ARE READING
The World's Funniest Shit
HumorJokes, comebacks, insults, quotes, yo mama's, and other meaningless funny shit. I try to find some you haven't heard before because that's just lame if you've heard the same thing again and again. MUST READ if you don't I can't do anything but still...
