1. Me: Can I have some paper?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Can I have 10 dollars?
Friend: Hell no.
Me: What's money made out of?
Friend: Paper.
Me: GIMME THE MONEY!
___________
2. Police: How high are you?
Me: No, officer, it's hi, how are you.
___________
3. Friend: Can I plz have $20?
Me: Why did you say plz instead of please?
Friend: It's shorter.
Me: Well, then I'll say no instead of yes because that's shorter.
Friend: If you just said "Yes" that would be shorter than that whole sentence.
Me: If you would just SHUT UP, it'll be shorter than anything.
____________
4. Normal Friend: Oh, that looks good on you.
Best Friend: Shrek called, he wants his face back!
___________
5. Boy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Girl: it's in the phone book.
Boy: But I don't know your name!
Girl: That's in the phone book, too.
____________
6. Wife: No-Shave-November is stupid, go shave!
Bearded Husband: Sure.
*Comes back bald*
______________
7. Girl: Leave me alone! I'm fine! *Crying her eyes out*
0.15 seconds later...
Girl: Don't ignore me!
Boy: *Mutters* She's on her period again.
___________
8. Doctor: It's a girl!
Woman: I think ill name her Sarah.
Doctor: Sorry, that name's already taken. May I suggest AyeItsSarah or Sarah930?
_________
9. Friend: Why didn't you answer my call yesterday?
Me: I was dancing to my ringtone.
Friend: Six times?
Me: Yep, can't get enough.
___________
10. Mom: Why is everything on the floor?!
Me: Ever of gravity?
Mom: Ever heard of a smartass being grounded?
Me: No and let's keep it that way.
--------------------------------------
Finally finished this chapter! I've had this for quite a while because I couldn't find any more funny poems but now it's finished. Pretty happy about that. Peace out!
*Brofist*
YOU ARE READING
The World's Funniest Shit
HumorJokes, comebacks, insults, quotes, yo mama's, and other meaningless funny shit. I try to find some you haven't heard before because that's just lame if you've heard the same thing again and again. MUST READ if you don't I can't do anything but still...
