"You left when i needed you to
stay, and still i loved you all the same."
"I love you."
Billie listened to old voice messages from her and Liah's old conversations, Billie reading paragraphs of Liah telling her she would be okay. Past conversations hurt a lot more when she proceeded to understand that she hurt Liah. Not expecting Liah, to forgive her she would put her best efforts into it no matter what. Her chest felt tight and felt tears swell in her eyes, she turned off her phone and tossed it the foot of her bed.
"Fucking hell..." Billie threw herself back onto her pillows, and stared at the off white painted ceiling.
Music played on her T.V. that she linked to her computer, she let her body go limp and her head numb. Managing to roll onto her side, and tuck her knees to her chest, she let the tears she was holding in fall. The songs words hit harder with every tear she shed, and every word she could hear in her head. Billie just stayed curled in a ball for a long while, hearing her phone vibrate at the foot of the bed.
She let it ring till twenty minutes pass of people calling her. Her face was stained with her tears, Billie sat up and grabbed her phone, seeing her brothers name and Claudia being the ones who were calling her. She took the back of her hand and wiped her eyes trying to pull herself together. Billie pressed Claudias number and put it on speaker letting it ring till she picked it up.
"Billie, there you are. Are you okay?" Claudia sounded worried and concerned, the sound of water running and things moving in her side.
"Yeah i'm fine. Did you need me for something important? I was in the shower i'm sorry." Billie lied and turned her T.V. down.
"I wanted to see if you were gonna make it here on time? I know you're dealing with a lot, and if you need a few hours that's totally ok-"
"I'll be fine. I need to get a few things done and i'll be there okay? tell Fin, not to worry." Billie stayed with a somber look on her face looking at her wrists.
"Okay... I love you Bil. Be safe."
******
Billie got done meeting with fans, she enjoyed seeing the joy she could put on others faces even when she didn't feel up to it. Her body and mind was tired, not only physically but mentally, from the late nights she stayed up to come up with song ideas. The back of her eyes were in splitting pain, along with her ankles and arms, her body had the feeling that she was being broken with every step she took.
"Billie, why don't we take a day to ourselves tomorrow, yeah? We have it off and o think you should rest, you look dead." Finneas came up behind her while she was heading to her dressing room, and stopped her.
"I don't think i really need it. I'm fine Finneas, i promise." Her eyes looked sunken after she took a paper towel and wiped off the makeup someone insisted she wore. "I'll be fine."
"Bils, you look dead. You look like you did when you had your ex. You worked yourself too hard and you're doing it now." He put his hands on her shoulders when she tried to walk past him. He expected her to fight back like she would if she was as okay like she said, but no response. "You're working yourself a lot harder now..."
"Finneas-"
"Please? Just one day, i'll get you anything you want, just relax." He looked at her and saw that her eyes were glazed and her skin was pale, now that he looked at her under good lighting.
"Fine." Billie sighed and felt her being pulled into her brothers body, she wasn't as quick to respond to his hug. Slowly lifting her arms to wrap them around his torso was the best she could do.
Without a saying anything she moved away from him and started to her dressing room again. Locking the door behind her, she took her hands through her hair and then let the few strands that came out fall to the floor. Billie sat down on the couch in the middle of her room and sighed, laying on her stomach. Her head hurt badly and the light that was on made it worse, she hid her face into her arms and closed her eyes.
2 New Voicemails from: Liah
"What now." She groaned and slowly grabbed her phone from her back pocket and got up.
She read the message on the phone banner and unlocked the door, turning the lights off. Billie used the phone light to find her way back to the couch and laid her head on a small throw pillow. The voicemail was longer than any other one she's received, pressing okay she put her arm over her eyes.
"Hey... uhm. I know we're not really on talking terms anymore. I still wanna see you again. Talk things out, Y'know? I don't know what i did to make you not talk to me anymore, but whatever it is i'm really sorry." Liah's voice was very clearly starting to crack. "You were my best friend and i don't know what i'd do without you if we didn't talk anymore... for god this time. Just tell me what i did and i'll fix it, Bils... Please?."
End of Voicemail one.
Billie looked at her phone once more to play the second Message, and could tell one was gonna hurt more than the other one she left.
"Me again. I don't really know how to explain this or even... say it. I'm sorry i keep leaving you voicemails, you just never answer anyone anymore. I started watching your stuff, your interviews and stuff... You look really unhappy Billie. I don't know if what i'm gonna say will help but it's something of you had to say i'd want you to tell me." She let out a small nervous laugh and then cleared her throat. "I know for sure now that i wanna see you when you come to Washington, i wasn't before but i'm 100% this time. i wanna hear you voice and just not over a phone or when you don't answer your phone. i wanna touch you... not in a weird way... i wanna hear you laugh, like you used too. I want to love you again, to trust you again. That's the way i loved you before... i want that again."
End of Voicemail two.
YOU ARE READING
I love you. || Rewriting
Fanfiction"Marry me" She said. my head was still spinning from performing, but i was certain i heard her correctly. "What?" "Please marry me I was the headline of every news article and the topic of every fan account people had that week. And to think I almo...
