Dinner
My heart was in my throat. My hands were shaking. I'm pretty sure my stomach dropped so far it was sitting in my asshole.
Salem was pacing slowly in front of me. He hadn't spoken since I asked him to have sex with me. I'd been looking into things lately. Romance, feelings, love, and sex. I had been talking to Victoria. I'd been reading countless accounts of love, relationships, and sex lives from blogs. Anything to just try to make sense of what I was feeling. I had read that being physically intimate to the extreme brings clarity to the mate bond. I wanted to see if that was true. I needed to know. I needed to know almost as badly as I knew I needed Salem.
I'd come to terms with this. I didn't know if I loved him. All I knew was the instinct that we are mates was becoming more and more prevalent as time passed. The more time we spent together, the more I felt.
From what I'd gathered, vampires don't fall in love easily. You could blame it on the self centeredness. You could blame it on how long we lived... there was a lot of speculation.
With the next ball, came an impending sense of doom. Fear that I would be stuck with a suitor that didn't make me feel a fraction of what Salem did. I would forever regret not trying to have him. I had to at least try.
"You want that?" He spoke suddenly, the sound of his footsteps crunching in the snow ceased. I was staring at the ground.
"Yes" I spoke firmly, not letting my voice waver.
"I understand your point of view. I know you said my virginity is something to take seriously ...and I am... so before you answer can you hear me out?" My voice was hushed, cracking almost from the nerves. I didn't want to be rejected by him. I'd never cared so much about what somebody else thought or felt about me until him.
"Okay" he had walked to me, his feet coming into view. I forced myself to look at him. When our eyes met my breath caught in my throat.
"I.. I don't want to lose my virginity to someone I don't know. Somebody I'm not comfortable with. Things have to be consummated on the wedding night. The way things move so fast being royal... wedding and all.. it won't be enough time. I won't be comfortable. I don't want my first time to be like that." I spoke as firmly as I could and he sighed.
"That's why you get to know them. You're automatically deciding that you won't be comfortable before giving it a chance." He spoke gently and I shook my head.
"No, Salem. I know myself. I've never felt as comfortable with somebody as I have with you. I've never felt so safe. I know that it's something you would take respectfully. I know that it would be a safe thing to do with you. I've never felt this way with anyone until you." My honesty was scaring me. Spilling this like this...
He fell silent, gazing down at me. I rubbed my hands nervously.
"If you want to say no, that's okay. I'll respect that. I had to at least try." I whispered and he crouched before me, placing his hands on mine.
"That's truly what you want?" He spoke softy and I nodded.
"I promise I'm not driven by lust right now. I know I'm not. I've gotten some clarity on things. I've been looking into the whole thing." His eyes widened slightly, laughing slightly.
"Don't tell me you've been watching porn!" He gasped and I laughed.
"No, I haven't thank you." I grumbled.
"Good that is all unrealistic anyways." He laughed, I was grateful he broke the tension.
"So.. that's a yes?" I spoke almost hopefully and he nodded, clapping his hands together and then grabbing the bottom of his shirt.
YOU ARE READING
The Princess Guard
Vampire"You cannot tell me what to do!" I sneered at the man standing before me. My newest assigned guard, who quickly became the biggest pain in my ass. He was just the flavor of the month, really. It wouldn't be much longer before he quit like the rest o...
