The Princess Guard

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Mate

I watched silently as a maid brushed my hair. I avoided my own gaze in the mirror. I was so nervous. I barely slept last night. Salem had feelings for me. We didn't get to finish our conversation last night...dad surprised me at my door after Salem said he did have feelings for me. He took him off to talk to him about the last week because he wasn't in their meeting.

"Do we want to do it up?" Annabel's voice broke my thoughts. I sighed and shook my head.

"I love it like this. It's good. Thank you." I spoke quietly and she bowed. I walked over to my full length mirror and stared at my dress sadly. I didn't want to do this. My dress was white and blue, slim fitting. From my shoulders to my waistline it was white, then it had a gradient of blues from my waist down. It was beautiful. I assumed it was some symbolism of the coming white dress I'd wear at my wedding. There was a knock at the door and Salem stuck his head in. I nodded slowly and quickly tore my eyes from him. This time he was wearing a dark black pronto uomo tux. How he looked even more amazing than the last ball was beyond me.

He came to my side, lightly brushing a strand of hair away from my face. Like a moth to a flame I turned and faced him.

"You look so disappointed" he murmured quietly, eyebrows furrowed together.

"I don't want to do this" I whispered back sadly and he sighed.

"One of them may just surprise you." He seemed to force the words out and I shook my head quickly.

"No. I know they won't." Anger suddenly filled me. He opened his mouth to speak and I cut him off quickly. I didn't want to hear encouragement to be with somebody else.

"I don't want anybody else Salem." I snapped. Panic filled me. The thought of being with anyone else felt crushing. I understood the weight of the mate bond now. I physically couldn't stomach the thought. It made me panic.

"I want to be with you. I want to be with you!!... I don't want to see who's waiting for me downstairs. I don't want to be courted by some stupid man that won't ever make me feel a fraction of what I feel for you.. what I feel with you.. by your side. I know that nobody will. It is impossible and that's not just me being stubborn. It's impossible." Tears brimmed my eyes now as I ranted. Salems eyes were wide.

"I don't know how to explain it to you but you're my mate Salem" the words wouldn't stop coming out of my mouth. My bottom lip quivered now.

"You're my mate" I gasped out, choking back my sob. The thought of being with anybody else was breaking my heart. He suddenly grabbed my face, holding me steady while I tried to calm my panicked breaths.

"I know" he whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear him. My eyes widened and tears began to stream my face.

"What?" I gasped and he stroked his thumb across my cheek, wiping the tears away.

"I know. I've known since last month. I have tried to be reserved with my feelings because I didn't know if you felt it too. I don't understand exactly how this all works. I just know my instinct screams it every time we're near. I've told myself I would be content watching you be with somebody else if it meant I was still in your life." He was rushing his words out now.

"I've known since you saw me transition last month. Being so overtaken by my instinct I guess brought clarity. I didn't know how to approach it. I thought you would marry Alex.. I never intended on telling you.. and when you asked me to have sex" he let out a breath, shaking his head.

"I wanted you. I wanted to see if it changed my feelings.. I'd read that it enhances the mate bond when you're intimate.." I trailed off.. rubbing my neck nervously.