4 | Going back home

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The winter holidays are coming and you have to leave the dorms to go back home. You were a bit scared of how the holidays might go, the holidays are centered around food and it was just too much, having to hide the purging, not being able to eat normally without excess or restriction. You can't find balance, it's either too little or too much and it always ends with you bent down over the toilet with your fingers down your throat.

You didn't want to even think about it. Having to deal with your parents high expectations was already exhausting. Your eating disorder consumes every thought you have during your day, all you think about is binging, purging what you were going to eat, when you were going to eat and how much you were going to eat.

The only thing that helps you escape these thoughts is studying what's in the programme during the first year of medschool and well, texting Dabi.

If you were smiling while looking at your phone, there's a 99 percent chance that dabi sent you something that made your day.

You took the bullet train and spent all day reading your new books on your way back home. You only ingested coffees and one square of dark chocolate. You didn't want to deal with the mess that came with binge purging in the bullet train.

Your mom calls you to make sure you're okay.

After 5 hours of sitting down and studying you finally reached your destination. Hakone, you loved your city and the amazing view of mount Fuji.

You walked all the way back home. You put your keys in the door and your dog starts barking like there is no tomorrow! You can hear his excitement just from his barks.

"Snowball!!! Did you miss me buddy???"

His tail is wiggling and he's running in circles. As you pet him you think about how much you missed your cute little furball

"Mom! Dad! I am home!" You say as you take off your shoes and coat.

"Welcome home Y/n" your parents say in union.

Coming back home feels weird, of course you miss your parents and your dog but you don't feel at ease...

"Do you want to eat dinner?"

"No thanks, i ate on my way home"

you say, anything to avoid meal times honestly.

You put your suitcase in your childhood bedroom and you change into your pyjamas. You can tell that these holidays won't be actual holidays where you get to rest.

Tomorrow you'll worry about it, right now all you want to do is lay down on your comfy bed and go to sleep, but before that you wanted to see how Dabi is doing.

"Hey i arrived home safely"

"That's good, what are you planning to do during the holidays?"

"Honestly i am planning to read a few chapters in my molecular biology book and make summaries and maybe draw a bit... i am not sure, i have a ton of homework i need to do so that will keep me busy enough to not binge purge"

"Sounds like a good plan to me"

"Dabi, i feel very lucky that i met you, i was in such a low spot in my life and meeting you was the best thing that happened to me in these last few months"

"I am touched Doll, sleep well"

"Goodnight Dabi"

You were over the moon, having someone to talk to like Dabi was such a breath of fresh air, it's not like your relationship with your classmates or your teachers or your parents.

Despite everything going well you had a feeling that Dabi isn't being completely truthful about what he does; he says he's not in school but he didn't speak of a job or any side hustle he has. That worried you but he surely has a reason, when the time comes he'll tell you everything you needed to know.

You close your eyes and drift into deep sleep.

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