Deaf Wish

Chapter 46

 

Nathan decided to take Alex and I home with him, since he didn't have anything better to do I guess, much to the luck of my mother,  who didn't even bother coming home from work. He parked his car at his driveway and we got out, but while Alex started to head over to our house, I actually wanted to stay over at his place, or at least take him with me. But of course, I didn't quite dare to say anything, all I did was stare at him for a while, before uttering a silent 'bye'.

"You look stressed, is something the matter?", he took my hand in his, his green eyes spreading comfort and worry. It's true, I actually am stressed, so many things are turning easy tasks into hard challenges and I don't even know why. "Oh, it's nothing, tired and stuff.", I once read that saying you're tired is easier than explaining what's wrong and I have to say, that's very true.

"Don't give me that, I know that something's wrong. Do you want to come inside and talk about it?", he gave my hand a light squeeze and of course, the puppy dog eyes. "Sure.", he smiled at my response, kissing the tip of my nose before leading me inside his house and up the stairs towards his room. We placed our bags on the floor, sitting down on his bed.

"Tell me, is there something bothering you?", Nathan interlaced our fingers, placing both of our hands on my leg. "Well, I don't really know, I guess I'm just beating myself up about unnecessary things.", I tried to just shrug it of, but obviously, he wouldn't let go of the subject. "Are you sure? Anything I can help you with?", the way he's always acting around me is so charming, I literally love being with him, but the doubts make our time together rather stressful than anything else.

"Uhm, can I ask you aquestion?", I tried to hold my gaze straight, not sure if I shouldask him what I am about to. "Sure, anything.", he gave me areassuring smile, trying to comfort me a little. Even he knew thatI'm troubled and it's been a little over two weeks since we firstmet. "I don't know how to ask this, but... why do you like me?",I actually felt pretty stupid for asking such a ridiculous question. My heart was beating painfully fast as I stared at his lips in anticipation for the answer I have been longing for so long now.

"Because you are you.", he smiled, softly before cracking into a short laughter. I looked at him, puzzled and confused. Because I am I? What kind of answer is that? "I don't think I understand. What do you mean by that?", his thumb was rubbing over my hand as he continued explaining. "Well, I like you because of the person you are. I like you for who you are. Remember when you said you hated yourself?", I silently nodded, the memory was blurry but existent, "Now I'm the one asking you, why don't you like yourself?"

No one has ever asked me a question like this before, not only am I confused, but also afraid of answering something he doens't want to hear. Is there even a wrong thing to say? "Why are you asking me this?", I felt uncomfortable, but at the same time I was clinging onto Nathans hand. "Why did you ask me for the reason I like you?", why is he always returning the question, this isn't how I wanted this go.

"I don't know.", of course I do. "Lie. You asked because you have too many doubts about yourself, you think everything you do or say has no impact, no worth. That's why you asked me, you want to know what there could possibly be likeable about you, since you have no reason to like yourself, isn't that true?", I opened and closed my mouth multiple times, like I wanted to proof him wrong, but there were no words coming out of my mouth, no sound.

He hit the bullseye.

Tears started to fill my eyes, making my vision blurry. How did he know all of this? How can he know me that good already? The tears overflow, streaming down my cheeks as I nod, giving him right and accepting the cold hard truth he had just thrown at me. Nathan reaches forward, tracing over my cheek to remove a few tears. "Hey, it's okay. I know how you feel.", with that, he pulled me into his arms, warm hands rubbing over my back. I couldn't help but break down, all of these bottled up emotions were so hard to keep tugged in.

And for the first time, I actually let go. I knew the reason he liked me, he knew about the fears and doubts that just seemed to follow we everywhere and we share something together. We fell for each other because we are who we are.

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Short chapter i know, but there was something  I wanted to tell you real quick, maybe you'll be a little confused about their conversation and the whole hate thing, that's because I changed the orginal version on Word. But I'm not going to change it on WattPad since I already changed everything once before.

Anyway, stay tuned for more, also, I would appreciate it if you could leave a vote or a comment. Or feel free to PM me anytime. Xoxo