Y/n:
It's not pronounced as 'Buffey!' (Buffet) What, do you call your jacket 'Jackey?!'
Hermione:
It's the right way Y/n!
Y/n:
What, your wallet 'Walley?!'
Ron and Harry:
*Snickering in the corner
____________________________
Y/n:
Why don't you like me? If I like you, you should like me too!
Hermione:
Who said I didn't?
___________________________
Hermione:
Go on then, explain yourself!
Y/n:
Love-
Hermion:
Why did that lady in the cashier say 'Welcome back!' What, so that means you've been there before? What was the reason huh?!
Y/n:
Bab-
Hermione:
You've never brought me to that cafe, and we only go to cafe's together!
Y/n:
Hermion-
Hermione:
Who did you go with before? Before me? Did you buy her the same drinks too? Did yo-
Y/n:
Will you let me talk! I can't explain if you always cut me off!
Hermione:
*huffs and crosses her arms while glaring at you
Y/n:
I was babysitting Lily (Lily Luna Potter), and she asked for a bagel. And that's the nearest cafe from where we were, so I bought her the bagel. Happy?
Hermione:
......
_________________________
Hermione:
You have such a dirty mind!
Y/n:
Yeah, and you're running through it.
Hermione:
*Raises an eyebrow
Y/n:
Naked.
Hermione:
Ugh, Get your mind out of the gutter!
*Smacks you on the head with a thicc book
Y/n:
It lives rent free there.
_________________________
Professor McGonagall:
Introduce yourself Y/n.
Y/n:
Hi everyone, my name is Y/n L/n.
*While looking directly at Hermione
I'm half gay, half yours
My pronouns are You're/Mine
and I can't turn water to wine but I can turn you into mine.
My favorite color is red, which reminds me of my favorite fruit which is Orange.
And I love to play Quidditch, but I promise I won't play you.
Hermione:
*blushes like a tomato
_______________________
*Hermione teaching you to drive a muggle car
Hermione:
Okay, lastly if you see an old man and a child what do you hit?
Y/n:
Well, I would say the old man cause he's dying soon anyways but, I hate kids so imma just hit the kid.
Hermione:
WHAT!
YOU HIT THE BREAKS Y/N!
THE BREAKS!
Y/n:
Ohh, I thought you were gonna say hit the man instead.
Hermione:
I give up.
_________________________
Hermione:
Baby!
Y/n:
Yeah, babe?
Hermione:
What did you call your ex before?
Y/n:
It isn't important, baby.
Hermione:
Just tell me.
Y/n:
I don't want to, you'll get mad.
Hermione:
Come on, tell me!
Y/n:
Fine, I call her 'my wife'
Hermione:
What! Why the fuck would you call her that!
Y/n:
Babe-
Hermione:
Tell me why the fuck!
Y/n:
Hermione!
Hermione:
Then you call me, baby!
What am I, your child?!
_______________________
Y/n:
If I fart in front of you, it means you're now a fart of my life
Hermione:
You're gross
________________________
*Ron and Hermione kissing
*you walk in
Y/n:
Hey Ronald!
Ron:
Oh, hey!
Y/n:
Something's on your face.
Ron:
What? *Touches his face* Where?
Y/n:
The love of my life!
GET OFF!
*Shoves Ronald and carries Hermione bridal style
YOU ARE READING
Hermione Granger One Shots and Shorts
FanfictionJust little scenarios in my head. They get longer, I promise... Smut maybe? Only if someone requests it! Hermione x fem!reader (Requests are open!)
