A Blossom in the desert

Dealing with Chaos

Dark and cold were the words Khaled thought of the night as he walked out of the Al Firdous mosque after praying tahajjud. Catastrophic events of past two days had robbed away his sleep and even his exhaustion was incapable of acting as an anesthesia for him. Amidst chilling wind and ruffling sounds of leaves ,Khaled with his hands stuffed in his jeans pocket, sauntered back to the hospital when he heard something different among the persisting symphony made by winds and leaves . Thinking it was his misconception, he moved towards the entrance when he again heard the sound and this time he was sure it was someone's sob and muffled voice. Perceiving that it could be an injured person, Khaled brisk walked towards the hospital garden from where the voice was coming but as he was about to enter the garden ,he stilled on his spot by the enthralling scene enrolling before him. He saw Emaan sitting on the bench was looking at the sky & murmurring something and it felt like the whole sky was focussed on  listening to her while the light of the moon glistened on her like a spot light  making her look like an ethereal being and making her cascading tears shine like delicate pearls. But as soon as Khaled realised what he was doing he looked away muttering Astaghfirullah . Blaming all these novel emotions on the sense of admiration he had started feeling for her after he had heard her conversation with Carol when he had gone to Dr Masry's office to keep the file back which he had taken from him earlier.Emaan confused him as sometimes she looked so vulnerable as if she will break away with a single touch as in this moment while sometime she was strong like a mountain ready to face any atrocity & struggle. Not wanting to intrude her personal space ,Khaled moved back when a thought struck his mind and though he knew he was going to be embarassed about it later but then letting his instinct to prevail over any thought of embarassment ,he went inside the hospital to implement his thought in action.

For some, night was the time to escape into the world of dreams while to some souls like Emaan, night was the time to shred off their armour of strength and let all wounds that they got while fighting the world in the daylight to be revealed to their Lord when HE was closest to them as HE descended to the lowest heaven at night to hear unheard words and to heal unseen wounds.

(The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said ,."The Lord descends to every night to the lowest heaven when one third of the night remains and says :

'Who will call upon ME ,that I may answer him ? Who will ask of ME ,that I may give him ? Who will seek MY forgiveness,that I may forgive him ' [ Sahih Al Bukhari ] '")

Since past two days Emaan felt her life was enmeshed amidst a raging storm where no matter how much she struggled & tried to fix  yet everything seemed to be falling and breaking apart .Even on the second day of protest, situations did seem to change but rather there were more casualties ,more deaths ,more wails and sobs and then she was also handling devastated Aljida and Hassan .She had managed all this with a gut-wrenching courage ,showing not a hint of pain she was experiencing inside her heart but now only with her Rab to see ,she let go off the pretence of firmness to unveil the vulnerability, fragility and agonising pain she felt, as she knew only her Rab could give her relief and heal her wounds .Even the icy winds which sent down chills to her body couldn't hamper her will of staying outside as without Salah she had felt incomplete but this way under the sky she felt closer to her Rab especially when HE had come down to meet HIS slaves, then who was she to ignore such pristine invitation from the Rab of all Aalameen. She was lost in the moment, only icy winds reminded her of reality and she had wished for the cold wind to numb her heart so that she could feel nothing for once ,so she could be free of every shackle of emotions that scathed and grated her heart every minute of her life. Feeling cold, she pulled her legs up on the bench and keeping her head down on her knees she closed her eyes with constantly whispering Allah's name .She was lost in the serenity of silence when she heard some shuffling beside her ,as she opened her eyes and looked up from her knees to find nothing ,she looked to her right and to her shock she found a steaming cup of coffee and a comforter kept beside her,furrowing her eyebrows she looked around her surrounding when her eyes fell on a retreating figure whom she instantly recognised as Khaled  .To say she was shocked would have been an understatement seeing Khaled's kindness towards her..this new side of his was intriguing yet more menacing to Emaan as the way her heart had flipped & fluttered with his gesture of kindness. Draping herself with the comforter ,Emaan took the coffee cup though she was never a fan of coffee but not wanting to act rude and ungrateful, she took a sip and nearly after two days her lips had twitched up in a genuine smile as she thought ,