i see you

Angry type of coach (Evangelia -TW-)

I don't like when people touch me it brings me back, to my father. When he used to hit me... but I didn't mind his touch. He made me comfortable, Definitely not like coach Harrison he makes me feel like I did with my father.

Coach isn't that bad I mean he does have our best I treat in heart, he is tough and harsh and from time to time make mistakes but I don't really think he means any harm, does he? Maybe he does, but I mean who would actually take me seriously if I told them, they'll say the same as him. It being a punishment for not being good enough.

But back to Noah, I don't know what it is but I am comfortable with him. Which means I have to stay far, far away. I can't risk trusting or getting close to people, they make you open up and then use it right back at you. I won't risk that, not for anyone! I've learnt my lesson a long time ago, and I'm never making that mistake again!
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I started practice early this morning, with only me and my Coach. It was living hell on earth! But we made it through so it's fine. Coach Harrison is angry with me when practice is done, he doesn't think I'm good enough. I just think he's nervous for the Olympics, he doesn't like the routine or the music or anything about the program. And he's taking it out on all of us.

"You do realize that there's only two and a half months left! And you are skating like a fucking five year old. I don't know what's wrong with you and I don't fucking care, but if you don't put in more effort there will be no Olympics for you!" I wanted to cry when he said that because I am so fucking tired, I don't even wanna do the Olympics anymore! My body is screaming for rest and so is my mind.

"And Evangelia" he says this time in a kind voice with his hand on my cheek "I know I've been pushing you hard. But you are my best and favorite. I have to, but I would be sad to se my best skater have to sit it out because they don't fit in to the weight goals!" Here we are again, I know I'm to fat I know that! "I know coach I'm sorry I promise I will be there by the Olympics!"

I want to just disappear, I mean it sounds so perfect! I mean I did do it when I was 12 but this time I don't have to fight for my life or my sanity. I have enough money, I could change my name and move to a country where no one would recognize me! God it sounds like a dream... but that's all it is, a dream.

I sit on the bench reading "twisted games" I Fucking love this series it's so good! I'm shortly after starting interrupted.

"So is he the yelling and always angry type of coach? Or did you just really get on his nerves?" I recognize the voice to be Noah.

"Well hello to you to Noah" I try to avoid the question, by questioning his manners instead.

"Hello and good morning Angel." Well that's new, where the hell did he get that from. I don't do nicknames.

"Yeah No, Not happening and emphasis on the No!" Am I wrong, who calls someone they barely know angel! Plus it so cheesy and cute, I don't do cheesy and cute.

"Yeah non negotiable, get used to it" he says that with the biggest grin I have seen.

"So back to the question...." He really didn't bait on me changing subjects either he doesn't care, or he's stupid.

"He's a coach I mean does your coach never get angry with you?" I direct the question over to him so I don't have to answer it entirely. But I wonder if he noticed him being so close and touchy.

"Yes of course he does, just never like that. He looked like he wanted to smack you in the face" he said and laughed "but that might just be his facial expression, I mean he would never actually do that" he say small laughing a bit.

I just look down and say "yeah right" trying to add a little laugh on it. He looks at me questioning whether to as the question in his mind or not. "Don't ask it's not what you think and it's not worth getting into" I tell him. He gives a slight nod and still look a little worried.

"So can you tell me why he got so mad?"

"He's just nervous for the Olympics like the rest of us" that was a safe answer, I hope he bait on it.

"The Olympics huh, that's big really big! Your parents must be proud." There it is, the thing everybody always say. Am I supposed to act like they're dead or alive...

"Yeah I suppose it is. But it's just another competition you know! They try to fancy it up by the competitors all being the best of their country"

"So your the best from Canada?" I'm glad he left the parent thing alone!

"I suppose I'm one of them at least, I'm not the only one going"

"Right, we'll now I might just have to watch it!"

"There's free will in this country, so you can do what ever you like!" I say back, I don't like the thought of someone watching me skate, but then again I'm going to the Olympics so I guess there will be a lot of people watching from the whole world.

"Well practice should start soon so I better get ready!" I say and leave before he could even answer. I never do stuff like this you know small talk I don't ever small talk. I hate it, always have and still do. I mean what is the literal point of it? You don't actually learn important things! I don't really date for this reason either, well this definitely is not the only reason I mean Men. Might just be the other one!

The changing rooms were empty and I love it, some peace and quiet. Before being surrounded by know it all guys who do need some counseling all of them. I change and recharge, as if I had time to actually recharge! I feel as if my legs are goin go to give out to the exhaustion, but hey we don't have time for that! I tell my self that and then continue to lightly hit and shake my legs so they wake the fuck up. Now I just have to get out there up on a show and teach grown men how to not be afraid of ice.

I get out on the ice they all just stare, literally just stare in silence.

"What the cats got your tongue?" I ask them

"I think I might be the reason they are a little scared" Mr. Samuelson says

"Oh now they all have to be on their good behavior! Nice to see you Mr. Samuelson" I say still with a ice cold face.

"You can say Marcus for the 100th time I don't bite you know!" He says with a smile.

"By the way all these boys are just standing there not daring to do anything but stare in to the blank air, I might just wonder if you actually do bite" I tell him liking towards the guys, I called them boys just to push at their egos a little.

"Now let's get started shall we?"

Authors note:
Well hello ladies and gents how are you all today?
Hope everything is more than fine! I hope you all liked it, and please if you did vote and comment it does really make my day:)
Word count: 1332